I came back from a coffee with a friend and as you know by now, something must have happened, because that's my life or to say it better my FATE! To tell you the truth it's partly my fault because i don't let anything slide especially when i believe i am right. Also, somehow i feel obligated to let people know the truth or at least make them understand some things better with my ultimate goal being thinking for once!

So briefly a girl i was talking to said something about a club and about high heels. Note that we are talking about a girl that can be considered above average regarding height. So i asked: what's the reason you wear hills? Is it to boost your height and look more attractive? Do you have a complex about your height or both?

The answer i received was no and that it is the same as for me is wearing a shirt(..........). Then i talked about make up that's basically for seductiveness, for camouflage and as a result complex. The answer i received was once again no, but it's suppose to be due to society's standards and she just "taking care of herself". Also apparently this is similar to when men cut their hair as well as the fact that i am absolute in my opinion. 

"SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTE" i wanted to scream.

Then i took it step by step and began by the whole society thing. i explained to her that the fact that society may have a certain standard, it doesn't mean it's correct or that's representing the reality in which she agreed. I didn't said about the hair thing because honestly it's a pretty stupid argument. I asked: you wear make up to hide what? Some scars or "pimples" she said. Therefore you hide something that you don't feel good with, in other words you camouflage yourself. 

You gonna attract many men doing all these kind of things but probably most of them will be stupid ones. Real men or good men wanna see how you actually are, that's what they gonna love and wanna spend time with, they don't care about heels or make up. They want the real you cause sooner or later they gonna see your actual self and many men maybe gonna feel betrayed or sometimes you will simply don't feel attractive in their eyes so they will dump you or do worse things like cheating. 

Where Does That Lead Us?

This little story is a bright example of what my title is about. I bet you have numerous examples and stories to share like this. I could have easily said nothing and made her believe the same thing, not that i thing i changed her mind or made her think at all. I only did it cause i have zero tolerance to that kind of mindsets and i also did because i think she was/is a person that if we were just the 2 of us, i could at least convinced her to think it a bit more thorough. 

Many people don't know themselves at all, so they build a fake image in order to fit into the world, in other words, belong somewhere. I had read a great post from @abigail-dantes 3 months ago about the whole belonging thing, that if you have spare time, i suggest you read it. You will learn from a scientific perspective what's actually revolving around the whole "know ourselves" the what's and why and i honestly had bookmarked it in order to use it as an argument when times are hard :P 

Psychology Addict # 48 | Groups & The Individual

If we just take a couple of minutes and talk with ourselves both metaphorically and literally it would help. Just ask "WHY" each time you are doing something or you are about to do. It's just you vs yourself, there is nothing to fear about. Think if you actually enjoy the things that you do, you like them and why the heck did you started any of these in the first place? If the answer is to look cooler,smarter,prettier or to summarize it "acceptable" in the eyes of others that you know nothing about them, then you need some drastic changes.

Just love yourself for what you are (any illegal acts are excluded :P), try to stay healthy both physically and mentally, don't overdo it and above everything figure out what actually suits you better, instead of thinking what others may prefer and build a "persona" around it. Imagine how far could we progress as individuals if we followed this simple logic. Even in arguments someone that follow this concept will simply ask the "why" question and try to do his/her research before sharing his view on a certain point. 

Am I Asking Too Much?

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