Steemit, 1591-present: A Journey Through the Deep Annals of Literary Etymology

donkeypong (75)in #steem • 8 years ago (edited)

While the founders claim that Steemit is a new innovation, literary history begs to differ. The term has been used for a really freaking long time already. To whit:

Its early use was as a verb. I “esteemit” meant “I esteem it”. Because printing presses were shitty back then, the e’s were sometimes unreadable or they were stranded on the previous line behind a dash, leaving the word “steemit” on its own. To make poems rhyme, some of the poets left off the “e” in “esteem” or apostrophed it anyways, so one thing led to another.

It all started with a guy named Samuel Daniel (his parents couldn’t decide), who was a 16th Century poet. In 1591, he wrote a volume of poems for some chick named Delia. In fact, he was obsessed with her. Sammy Dan wrote 27 Delia poems, and that was just his first volume of sonnets for Delia!
He started off one Delia poem with “LOOK, Delia, how we ‘steem the half-blown rose”! The dude was a freaking genius. Why? He dropped the “e”. Why esteem when you can have ‘steem?

But Samuel Daniel didn’t stop there. His next volume had four more Delia poems and a fifth poem called The Complaynt of Rosamund. Rosamund! Don’t forget that name. You’ll meet the fair Rosamund again below in a century or two when she awakens from the dead.

In 1672, in a work known as Euaggelion aimon … (TLDR; some bullshit Greek title), better translated as The Saints First Revealed and Convenanted Mercies, author William Sherwin wrote, and I quote: “…this number of Daniel proceeds in connexion with the Revelation, from Anno Dome, by vulgar account, about 34, by adding the said Divine Number (as I e-steemit), both ways, 1666, for the end of the Kingdome of the Stone, then beginning that of the Mountain, and also the Beasts date…” Uh huh. Beware the beast’s date; it’s a convenanted connexion. ‘Nuff said.
The term “e-steemit” seemed to have caught on. Fast forward to 1764. An Irish writer named Arthur Murphy took up the STEEMIT batton, only he wrote under the cheesy pseudonym of Charles Ranger. In 1764, he penned a dramatic script for a comedy entitled Three Weeks After Marriage. In it, he wrote, and I quote: “Go your ways to the old curmudgeon, humor his whims – I shall e-steem it an honor, sir, to be allied to a gentleman of your rank and taste. Upon my word, he’s a pretty young gentleman.”
Rosamund (or Rosamond) resurrected herself to start a revolution: the Nottinghamshire Parish Register of Marriages shows that on 15 July 1776, no doubt in celebration or agony over news of the colonies’ impetuous actions, a man named Robert Sumner of Screveton took himself a wife by the name of Rosamond Steemit. What? I kid you not, the woman called herself Rosamond Steemit! Don’t believe me? All references appear below; click the link and you’ll see this marriage recorded on page 59 of the parish register.

Rosamond Steemit singlehandedly revolutionized the etymology of our lexicon by not only dropping that pesky “e”, but also by deleting the space between “steem” and “it”. Her family name was named STEEMIT, at least until she met and became the married chattel of the aforementioned Mr. Sumner. The dude must have been truly ‘steemed, ‘cause she was a revolutionary in the flesh. All hail Rosamond!

Many years later, the record shows that future generations did not forget the sacrifice made by the mother of all Steemits. In 1989, a company in the carpet and upholstery cleaning industry incorporated itself in the U.S. state of Virginia under the name A1 Steem It. This business is not to be confused with Steemit N Kleenit, a business incorporated in the Canadian province of Alberta in 1997. Or the numerous carpet cleaners that use the word “Steam” in their names, spelled with an “a”. That’s no fun.
Last but not least, the EdCo Chemical Company created a product that was approved for non-food use by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. What did they call it? STEEMIT STRIPPER GRADE – MEDIUM DUTY. I mean, gawdamn, I sure would hate to be stuck with a Medium Duty product on strippers’ night. For strippers’ night, get me that heavy duty Magnum Duty Grade. Well, at least these people knew how to name a product; it probably was some solvent used for stripping paint from aircraft.

PRESENT DAY: And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to the last and latest STEEMIT incarnation we are coming to know and love. As some famous bloke once said, and I quote again for the last time: “Never forget where you came from.”

STEEMIT arose from the annals of the famous literary lexicology in the tradition of the English language. It stands today pridefully on top of all who have come before it. I rest my case. #research4upvotes. Amen.

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