Ease the pain

Writing in #steem seems to be the only thing that can help me face the pain and forget about the sensation.

This year wasn't exactly positive as I would imagined. There's so many challenges in reality I need to face, especially about the job that is going to phase out soon since insurance no longer required a human in between buyer and the company anymore. What's left for me is, to clean up the mess from those people whom left the company. God knows what happened after I clear those accounts, there's so many bad debts everywhere. If I clear them all very quickly, which means the company no longer require me. If I don't clear them quickly, they'll probably fire me and get someone else to do it.

And, my line of work is the end of business at this junction. Even if I try to find a job from the same field, they do not require me anymore. So, the profession is generally good as gone. As everyday gone by, I know my clock is ticking, and I'm deperately needing a new working environment with a new job.

Other than that, my body is currently set at absorb mode. It's a thick layer of bodyfat wrapped around my whole body. I may not have a huge stomach, but if you observe me from the side when I'm doing jumping jacks, you can see the amount of fat hiding behind my back, my neck, and I would say there's a huge amount of grease hiding inside my organs that is slowly killing me. I used to take multi level marketing product and have some effect on them, but I really doesn't wanna get involved with those overpriced product. Don't ask me how I know, if buying product from distributor at 50% from retail price, you may take a guess how much the raw material in making those things costs. So, I'm doing some workout now, in the hope that I will get myself back some stamina and soon to pick up speed to do high intensity workout. What worry me now is, my bodyweight isn't going down, and my eating habit has been disrupted on a regular basis due to job requirement.

I know those are excuses, but I have other commitment I shall take care off, and I can't just go all out and try to land myself another job without considering security. I will have to consider what if the new job does not workout, then I'm seriously screwed. Household expanses is a crazy three thousand bucks, there's another 3 person in the house waiting for me to put food on the table. I just couldn't risk it. But, having said that, keep doing what I'm doing now will get me no where, but like a sitting duck and waitting my big day to come, receive the envelop and walk out of the office miserably.

So, yeah. The pain didn't go away, and it's only beginning of the year. And I was just being informed by my boss tomorrow morning will have a sale meeting. I already know what he's going to say, and my number didn't even meet half of last year budgeted production. The danger of my job security are real, and I know I have absolutely no solution to it just yet. What I can beg on now is, keep writing everyday, hopefully one day I'll become a professional writer or even a video vloger. Having a little hope here in #steem is never a bad thing, atleast it helps to ease the pain, for the time being.

Image from Pixabay

-p/s: just before I submit this post, my cellphone suddenly died. Luckily a big portion of the content were saved.