Good to see a fellow fiction writer! Your style has a good flow to it. When I'm perusing other writer's works, I find that I have to re-read a lot of it just to make sense of it. Your writing is smooth and easy to digest. You might think about breaking it up into a few more paragraphs to make it even more fluid. Thanks for the post, Cheers!

Oh, and if you are interested, I find a good amount of help from fellow writers over in the Fiction Workshop on Discord. I can send you an invitation link if you want. We share ideas, post contests, peer edit, and are working on our own curation trail. Thanks!