Midlife crisis

I'm new on here, this Steemit platform. I joined not just for the entitlements but, also the idea of expressing one's self and sharing ideas. It's like a low-key publishing blogosphere just like twitter and some other social networking sites.
That aside, delving to the crux of the context, I don't mind relating my challenges thinking what others might think. It's a free world although in most decisions and actions, we're chained either mentally by doubt or by rule.
After I finished from secondary school I was full of aspirations and positive energy unaware that life has a way of curbing your dreams (alternate reality) to a realistic perception. I didn't get admitted straight up into the university so I had to spend a couple years in my second choice tertiary institution - a polytechnic as I didn't make the big grade.
Two years gunning for a degree in national diploma was the best I could make do with, with the time I had. It was a very pleasant experience where I got to meet people - different kinds of people that brought a different plot in the play of life. I am the truant type so I barely scaled through the whole process with a load of lessons in my bag. In my final year, I took another test to get into a university proper and I made it to the delight of my folks.
Originally, I wanted to read a course, Aeronautic Engineering but, I learnt it wasn't offered by any institution in my country. My second choice discipline would be Pharmacy as I had a thing for helping people therapeutically. With advice from my dad, I filled in Medicine & Surgery but somehow landed in Medical laboratory science similar to the one I read in Polytechnic, science lab tech.
I'm supposedly in my fourth year now and I have to say the going was never easy. I've got a whole lot of unresolved issues pending as also the weight of expectations. Problems which wouldn't have been if I had been serious and focused from the onset. But then, I'm me - a stupid cliche that lingered in my mouth whenever I fret situations. The crippling fact of it all is not knowing what you're doing nor where you stand in anything. Not like I'm not talented or intelligent. A strong will, say drive was always lacking. At times, I blame it on my upbringing but maturity beckons I take full responsibility at some stage.
I have a lot of course-subjects I failed in that need reseating which I still am yet to re-write. I have emotional stress, social adjustment problems, petty complaints, as well as health issues. My time up till some moments was misused. Right now, I don't know how many extra years I'll be dealt here in school due to carryovers which my parents know nothing about. Tongue-waggers on one hand have a lot to chew on obviously. To bottle it up, I'm BROKE. I mean, I'm financially crippled, unstable and misappropriating funds. I have a girl or two to worry about also not sure if they're worried about me as I'm an introvert fulltime.
Nonetheless, I don't believe there's a problem that is insurmountable. I'm a believer and I believe that God won't give me a challenge He knew I couldn't overcome. Right now, I may be confused, lacklustre and uncertain. I know everything will be okay. For me to contain the haywire in my head and write this is proof I'm still sane and a work in progress. I cling on to hope knowing determination, hardworking and uprightness are anchors to any plot twist in my life.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.16
TRX 0.15
JST 0.028
BTC 54266.19
ETH 2288.06
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.31