The underlying similarity between all these statists is that their goal ... is not to make the world a better place or to even make their lives better, it is to control other people.

This really is at the heart of it, isn't it?

It is like they are confused, they on one hand see the freedom inherent in the voluntaryist’s being and are attracted to it, but they also seem to feel a seething hatred for the freedom.

I think they're attracted to the thing that deep down they know they need - the peace that accepting the reality of free will brings to a person - but to accept that is to admit having done evil and most likely having invested one's own life and livelihood in something evil - being a cop, working for a government contractor, etc.; so they lash out.

So, it makes sense that statists instead try to control the world around them instead of operating from principle, from the inside out, and trying to first be right with themselves. It's the "easier" path. Maybe we should find ways in our conversations with statists to make it easier for them to admit wrong-doing, if we admit our own wrong-doings too.