May the 4th be with you..... aaaand Last Jedi sucked

in #starwars6 years ago

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It's the 4th of May and May the 4th be with you. But in honor of the day, here are my rants about what in my mind ruined "The Last Jedi"
Let me start off by saying that I don't expect any of the things I say to be anything you haven't heard before. However, I would really like to start some dialogue on here, especially if you think you can defend this film... because I think it is a turd and it actually made me really angry after I saw it. I'm not going to go into tremendous detail because I would prefer we could have a debate or discussion in the comments. I am also not a super Star Wars nerd... just a medium-level one, so I might spell some things wrong :P

Kylo Ren turns into a bitch boy

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I really really really wanted this to work out

Kylo Ren: A pretty cool character as established in “The Force Awakens” is completely ruined in this movie. He went from being close to Darth in terms of power and respectability to being weak and immaterial in this episode. He is supposed to be the ultimate “baddie” in the franchise but now he is quite easily bypassed and defeated by Rey, who it seems he is now in love with (those shirtless scenes where he is using the force to “teamspeak” with her are just cringe.)

He also seems to be completely incapable of keeping his cool and just road rages on anything that doesn't immediately go his way. This is in stark contrast to the way he was presented at the start of “The Force Awakens” when he commands respect by his actions and dominates the opposition.

Whatever is going on with including Canto Bight in the film at all?

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we didn't need this!

So there is a luxury casino planet where people bet on slave fish-frog-horse things and all weapons for both sides are bought and sold over a game of baccarat... gotcha. This entire sequence, which lasted for what felt like 73 hours is completely unnecessary. We don't need to know this. The financing of the republic and the empire is totally irrelevant to me. Plus... if this is how x-wings and tie fighters are planned / made/ produced / sold... why not just buy a bunch of what the other guy has?

Don't bring finance into this. This is Star Wars. We suspend our disbelief in order to believe in the force. We don't need to involve Leia's Bitcoin balance in the equation in order to justify the amount of cruisers in their air force.

Finn and company just happen to get locked up in the same cell as exactly the person they are looking for... and he could have broken out of that cell anytime he wanted but you know... waits for them to turn up before doing so.

That silver Stormtrooper lady from Game of Thrones was defeated entirely too easily.

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I remember the first trailer for “the Force Awakens.” It was her voice that was featured in the vocal track that was the voice overlay for the entire trailer / introduction of Rey. Then she was barely in the first Disney episode and her involvement in the 2nd one sees her dispatched very quickly by Finn -and he was actually one of her underlings before he defected from the Empire.

I guess I was so disappointed that she was eliminated because I wanted to see a stormtrooper actually succeed at something (like maybe hitting something they were aiming at) for just once.

Smote: no back-story at all and now he is gone

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For a guy that can control your body, read your thoughts, and see what is happening anywhere in the galaxy he certainly has terrible peripheral vision.

Where is he from? How did he come to be in power and completely rebuild the empire after total decimation in “Return of the Jedi?” or in the remake of "A New Hope" which took place just before this movie for that matter? He appears as an unnecessarily huge hologram in “The Force Awakens” for 1.4 minutes and then is immediately killed off in a very unceremonious fashion. Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb

Leia can fly

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After displaying very little in the way of force capabilities throughout her entire involvement in the story she can now fly. Great. I've been told there are websites dedicated to explaining why she was all of a sudden able to do that but I'm not going to look at them.

In many ways I think that I, and many other viewers were expecting Carrie Fisher's character to get bumped off at some point because of the fact that she is actually deceased in real life and instead, Disney killed almost everyone else.

Rey is entirely too powerful

Haven't used a lightsaber ever but are already the best at it after having little to no training? Awesome

Spar with the greatest jedi that has ever lived and immediately best him? Fantastic

Rey has very little experience flying large starships but can outmaneuver anyone in a ship she has never used before. Of course!

Luke Skywalker's legacy is ruined because: Disney

How do you take everyone's memories of a legendary character for anyone over 20 years old and completely destroy it? Put Disney in command apparently. Luke was (and it is presumed still is) the most powerful Jedi in history and yet he is all but useless in this thing. The powerful ending of the Force Awakens is immediately ruined by the start of “the Last Jedi” when Luke unceremoniously tosses his light saber over his shoulder on the cliff-side.

He then proceeds to not help very much until Yoda intervenes and sets trees on fire which is apparently something that dead Jedi's can do but have never bothered to do up until this point.

Luke then holo-sends himself to save the day on that salt planet (I'm not even going to look it up) and isn't even there but it was too draining and he dies anyway.

I wonder if Mark Hamill is happy to be done with it.... or IS HE done with it?

I mean, now that we know dead Jedis can command lightning bolts at whim maybe his story has just begun! The hologram was just the beginning. Make way for Luke Lightning-hands-ghost-person-Skywalker!

Luke said in an interview something that will ring true to those of you that think like I do. He said

it doesn't matter if it is high-quality, only matters if it makes money

I could go on and on but I think this is already too long. Sorry if it isn't well put together because I banged it out in about an hour. The beers my friend has at the bar for me aren't going to drink themselves.

If you would like to defend this P.O.S. film I welcome you to try. I will be nice to you, it is just very unlikely that I am going to agree with you.

I hope you sell a lot of these things Disney... you only had to sell out arguably the greatest saga of modern times to do so

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