NO HOME AWAY FROM HOME

How could you be born in a place and yet detest the place you were born and the people there? When you were young, that's where you always wanted to be, when you were still a child, that's where you always wanted to be, in fact you cried to go back there whenever you leave. But as you grew older, the love reduced, you wanted to be there less, the people who got your back, you ignored them. You sought the comfort of the outside world, you ran to friends for help and advice, you ignored those whose words will help and mold you. Whenever you are with them, you feel sad and depressed, you always pray to leave home even though you just got there. You felt they hated you, you felt all their actions were due to hatred, little did you know that they are the ones for you, little did you know that even if all would go or turn their backs, they would never. You turned family time into time to hang out with friends or colleagues, every little holiday or break you had, you turned into a vacation with friends. They missed you and prayed for you to turn back, but you never did. Now you feel broken and have realized yourself, you try to fit in, they still love you, they still care, but they have gotten used to your absence, they have gotten used to you not being there. Please tell me, how do I go back? What do I do? I want to be a part of them once again.