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RE: Frozen Soldier, an exemplary warrior - Fantasy Story and Music Contest // Week 19 //

in #spt5 years ago

Hi @samueldc. I hope you do well in the contest. I have read carefully and wish to suggest the following (with your permission). Sometimes you have to surprise the reader but without cheating. The Frozen Soldier had to intuit that he could not eat or rest on the road. Therefore it was logical that the food became worms and the bed became sharp spikes. Witches always appear in caves. Perhaps, this witch must have lived in a luxury hahahaha mansion.
Another detail "I can only guide you to win the battles because the power to win them is in you, it is within you." This is widely used in wars, religions, etc. People know it. So, it must be said without falling into the cliché. I hope I helped you for the new adventures of The Frozen Soldier. Kind regards

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Hi. Thank you for your comments and / or suggestions. As for the last thing that the power to win the battles is in you, I used it because it is actually a fictional battle of a game and has nothing real, therefore I wanted to take the advice given by the Summoner to a more real plane and I placed that expression. However I accept your suggestion and I will keep it in mind. Greetings and thanks for supporting and supporting.

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