This is Where the Fun Begins
Right now, you may be thinking ah huh, yeah I know that, and nearly everyone feels that way at an intellectual/mind level. I would have thought that too, as we are often within the education system, faced with why are we, as a species, a certain way? Are we stereotypes of pragmatic society memes or are we destined to be a certain way as a result of necessary genetic adaptations that were part of our evolution? Enabling us to thrive on this planet Earth? Nature versus nurture?
Yes, I would have thought that too. I did know that! But I didn't understand the depth of this construct. When I was in primary school I was tagged as being behind scholastically. To remedy this, I was held back from my peers so that I could catch up. A perfectly reasonable adult action. However, for my 6-year-old mind that didn't have the benefit of reasoned discussion to help put the event into proper context, I just tagged myself as being less than. No doubt you will have your own stories, that at the time, scarred you for life. Yet the event had no meaning in terms of your Ego, but you decided it did, because it was so emotional that you interpreted via the infant dictionary of you, that this event was you. Another brick in the wall.
So, as time went on, the stream of happenings that I interpreted as being bad events continued and using the comparison measure of success, which after all is the nervous systems only tool for guidance and correction, carried on beating myself up for being the failure and unworthy person I saw as me. This decision is the only one that matters and becomes a self-imposed sentence to pain. Because, on an intellectual level we cannot determine the difference between our ego and our potential. A potential we have long lost sight of, due to our reliance on our own flawed life map. So as children, we are constructing an image of ourselves and if our early experiences are negative then we can decide that that is the way the World is. A fact drawn from a self-created illusion and so just as true as any physical fact. We could just as easily have decided the other way and our experience would have been so. The Universe will always create what we expect, instantly. The World didn't change, just our view of it. You don't attract good or bad or experiences, you create them constantly using your dictionary of interpretation. A dictionary, that for most, is bound in childish misunderstandings.
Each thought about ourselves, that we focus on and give repeated attention too, becomes a habit, a part of our subconscious and at that point, an unquestioned part of our core personality. It is as dear to you as your parents, as habitual as driving a car. Even if it is a habit that you don't like, you know, one of those habits or characteristics that make you say "if only I could shock my brain and kill that part of me, I'd be much better off".
Over time the image that I built one day at a time, had control over me totally because I was it. I had created the "it" known by my Christian name. An "it" that I felt was less than those I saw around me, those I read about, those telling me I was much more, those I strived to be like. At the same time, I chastised myself for even being born and admonished my bad luck for not being a type A male personality with the ability to navigate all situations with power and conviction. I could list all the traits that others had that I lacked and so were holding me back from attaining success in this action orientated world. Yet I had created this less than image, that was me, all by myself, using the comprehension system that I had developed by giving meaning to the things others had done to me. Yet I had done them to myself!
Self-interpreted comparison is a cancer that destroys your happiness and keeps you bound in the illusion that is the past or the future, and is a sign that you are asleep to the truth that you were given all you need to be to flourish and prosper the day you were conceived. The idea that you need to improve and enhance yourself to be worthy is a sham perpetuated by those who wish to use you to increase their own power.
This is the great tragedy of most lives.
Our senses get instant feedback that enables the servo-mechanism that is our nervous system to navigate the physical world and rapidly become proficient and even excellent at physical tasks but unfortunately, it seems to fail in our mental growth because the feedback is coming from other sensing beings. All of them are comprehending lots of mixed messages through their own self-developed comprehension dictionary and of course, some of those other beings giving feedback have their own agenda and know more than they have shared so they can gather immense global power. Kabbalah, an example of a body of knowledge that explores and teaches the truth around "i am THAT, i AM" has been taught to a few within the Jewish faith for thousands of years and was until recently passed down to a select few. Kabbalah courses are now available to anyone who has an interest in learning more.
What I failed to grasp until I went through the pain of suicidal thought and depression and break down was that everything that I believed was me was, in fact, an illusion. The "I" or ego and its expectations of me I had created, did not exist when I was born, only pure grace and knowing was present. Through attaching meaning to the action of external stimulus and focusing attention on erroneous thoughts I had created my own hell on earth.
Just like you, I have operated subconsciously as the person I am (Ego) without any question of how I became who I think I am. I just thought I was always this way, I was born this way. The ultimate self-deception. Take walking, for example, we walk, we just do; there is not a time in our lives where we haven't. However, our parents well remember the struggle, the frustration and the joy, learning to walk brought them and us.
The people we are today, our Ego was constructed in the same way. Unfortunately, the feedback was very subjective when compared to the objective physical feedback we received when training our physical senses. Burning your hand on a hot plate is very objective while a scowl when smiling at a stranger is completely subjective yet can cause just as much pain to an undiscerning child's mind. As you cement a view of the world through repetition of thought your mind can add bias to interactions that confirm your previous view, even if it is painful. In other words, you find supporting evidence for your view or in popular self-help parlance you attract what you see in your mind. In fact, you have created it, you didn't attract it because it didn't, and will never, exist except in your own experience. A magic trick of your own making! Fortunately, you can just as easily uncreate it with a little knowledge of what you really are.
Each of us, for the duration of our entire life, see ourselves as the person reflected back in the mirror. A finite solid bounded piece of flesh and blood with certain capabilities and limitations not of birth but of subjective self-creation. A Self, made up of a million excuses of why we aren't where we thought we should be. Excuses that we create and believe, excuses we need to justify our failure to measure up in comparison. Excuses only work if we believe we are finite people defined by the person we see in the mirror. Limited in intellect, power and capability. What a sad indictment of the human condition; how could such a powerful creation be allowed to believe they are so inadequate. As I wrote above, this is a tragedy and one I will endeavour to fix within each of you. I give this knowledge freely as I know that all are entitled to this knowledge. It is our birthright and those that seek to keep it from you are perpetuating an evil and are a plague to the future of mankind. These people currently control the power of our world and it is only through free access to this information to all that the pain that is perpetuated by others seeking to control the minds of the majority that poverty and suffering, both physical and mental will be minimised. #soiamthat