In The Beginning

I must emphasise that the basis of this monologue is from my own search for meaning over many years of endeavouring to improve myself. I was deep down the rabbit hole of self-improvement, a multi-billion dollar industry that fails its students in the grandest way possible. A skyscraper built on top of a frail foundation will always fail.

So let's start at the beginning, we are born, we don't know anything except maybe some preprogrammed ancient starter blocks encoded in our DNA and more recent starter blocks encoded in our RNA. Everything from Day One is learned. We only have a primitive communication skill to express something isn't as we knew it a few moments ago and we're not happy, eg, hunger elicits a cry response which gets us attention. This attention is often met with a rapid and successful response. So we experiment with this servo mechanism, hitting and missing our desire but getting better at it with practice; adding meaning to each response in an attempt to maintain homeostasis. Learning new skills based on the feedback received.

We learn in these early days of total dependency, that whatever we want we get. Unfortunately what we don't get, is that there's a perfectly good reason for this. Our co-creators are experiencing something new for them; unconditional love or maybe for some just the desire for them to also achieve homeostasis! We learn that to get what we want, we need to make a noise or do something with one of our senses. If we always get what we want in the early days, then when we don't get what we want later on in life we experience personal anxiety, detachment and the loss of happiness as we constantly live in the future planning to get what we need to reach homeostasis, and wondering why the World will not comply with our model of "This is how it has to be for me to be happy".

When our parent/caregiver is present we sense something in the side of our head that gets translated by our brain. It becomes known to us as a sound, that we soon learn is specific to us, our name. We know to respond to this name; it becomes our earliest and most core of all beliefs. Over time and in our early childhood we develop an identity defined by our translation of the reaction of what others do to us and what reaction we get when we do stuff to others. We translate the meaning of the reaction, in isolation of what may be the true meaning of the feedback as we have no tools with which to explore the reaction with the initiator.

We personalise all feedback, not as good or bad but that we are good or bad. We become adept at translating simple physical actions, like a shrug of the shoulders or a scowl; voice tones and touch to fit with our model of our self as embodied in our name - our core foundation from which we build our self-image. So through our translation of the feedback from our senses, we build up a whole model of who our name is. Remember we do this from our very first moment in the physical plain with an empty brain that has no concept of meaning. There is no choice but to translate external stimulus through trial and error in an effort to comprehend external behaviour in an attempt to understand its relationship to everything around it.

This is the start of the constructed identity; an identity constructed from ignorance and only as true a representation of reality, as the models it has access to, through luck of birth. This self-development through the attachment of meaning to external stimulus is the beginning of the end for many of us. The moment our "I" is identified with a label as in our Christian name we become immediately separated from the concept of "i AM That" because we are now always I am Joe or I am Mary. As soon as I say hi Jo or hi Mary, I have limited them to my finite concept of the container that is Mary and they definitely have a finite view of themselves, determined by their own comprehension of their childhood upbringing and the model they were subjected too. This Schema (cf Schema Therapy) is a construct of parents, grandparents, other influencers and not least Government influence.

So each of us is a finite construct dependant on luck at birth. Our subconscious develops through repetition of events we accrue over time and we translate and catalogue based on it's similarity to another event using a comprehension system that we developed with our child mind. This manifests itself as instructions in our head, catalogued as if it were a library and in many ways it is. A library of our interpretation of the teachings passed on by our parents and other significant influencers, whether these be religious or political doctrines. Some of these work to our benefit and others limit us to being a shadow of our potential. Over time if we fail to wake up from this control I call the "small i" or Ego, we will forever be sentenced to a life of sleep, a life of repeated, habitual response when faced with the same stimuli. A life in which we become set hard and resistant like stone when in-fact we have the gift to remain soft like water. This is fine when we are learning physical skills like driving a car and I suppose is the intended purpose of the subconscious. It is also fine if you're an animal without creative potential and must perform the same actions for your entire life in order to survive.

The ability of all Human Beings to infinitely create from within, from any thought that is conceived and is believed (Napoleon Hill) is well known and documented by those who have attained much wealth throughout the development of mankind. Of course, the ability to control mankind through their subconscious programming is also well known. By controlling the training of people from birth, man can be made compliant like animals, as if they were operating by birth instinct and put to any task to benefit all or to benefit a few. Such a secret can be used to attain great wealth for a few, simply by hiding the truth with regard individual capacity to create and instilling a programme that sets the individual up to be dependant on his or her past response and self image; a self image constructed by chance and likely many decades before. #soiamthat