seriously don't know if this makes good sense or why i'm typing this but i feel like if do not say it i won't have a nice rest and I've been working all day, i deserve a good night rest. so here goes nothing. I'm the type of person that people, (my siblings) especially, look to for strength. don't know they do, but they do. So i began feeling like a GOD of all my situations i attacked every situation with bravery when i was in front of any of them. But i know i'm actually weak and fucking soft deep inside. one time i invited my friends into the house, stepmum found out and made an ocean out of it (okay maybe i crossed the line a bit by taking it upon myself to put on the generator for them) but i still think she over reacted. dad came, she told him and my dad ain't nice with words, especially when he's mad. cut the shit tale short, he insulted me in the presence of my siblings, the one that made me feel like the SOLVER OF ALL PROBLEMS. and i wanted to die, i felt venerable. literally felt like i literally contemplated suicide for 2 hrs, listening to "Lana Del Rey" didnt help matters. so my question is, is it cool for me to show weakness in the presence of those that draw strength from me? waiting for your reply. (lana del rey addict)