You were always only afraid of yourself
A Course in Miracles tells us, that there are only 2 emotions: love and fear. All other emotions derive from them.
Love is how the union with God feels like and fear is how the separation from God feels like. That’s it.
If you have read some of my previous articles, you may now ask, where guilt comes in, since it is defined as the main cause for suffering in the course.
Guilt is the feeling that you have done something wrong in the past that will have unpleasant consequences in the future. We experience it as fear of punishment in some form.
Since we believe, that we have separated from God, the ultimate punishment that follows it is death. Death is not only a punishment that will come to some and others will be spared, but since we believe we are bodies and death is certain to everyone, we automatically believe, that we all will be punished sooner or later. This leaves us again with lots of fear.
What we think we are afraid of
When our mind split into two - one part believing that it is an individual (= ego) and another one, that is one with God (= Holy Spirit) - we also got the option of fear and punishment. Of course this option is only illusionary, but it certainly feels real, when we listen to the voice of the ego.
There is always the possibility to fail, and in fact ,the only mistake we can make any moment, is to decide for the ego’s world. This is only a mistake, that can be easily corrected every moment and is not something that will damn us for all eternity.
Our ego doesn’t want us to make another decision though, since this will take away its power and place it where it has always been - in the decision maker in our mind. This is actually the biggest fear the ego got and therefore it invented a clever tool, to cover it up: projection.
We project our fear outside into an imagined world of people and situations and then say: „This is what i fear!!“.
Since people and the world are never the real cause, but only a screen to project onto, we can’t get rid of fear, doesn’t matter what we do.
As mentioned in my last article, we have invented endless methods to handle this fear and all of them are only temporary solutions, since the primal fear never has left the mind of its creator. All the time, we think we know what we are afraid of and that it is something outside of us.
What we really are afraid of
Again, what we are really afraid of is the power of the decision maker to choose otherwise and select the Holy Spirit instead of the ego, that thinks it’s the only reality and option there is. The ego will try everything in its might to prevent that we become mindful again and realize that we are a Mind. The purpose of the ego is to keep us sleeping and dreaming a world of separation and bodies - this is its job and only way of survival.
In the „Obstacles to Peace“ - a very profound part of A Course in Miracles - we meet the topic of fear several times. We learn, that often fear is actually an attraction. For example in the „Fear of Death“, the ego is really attracted to death (or better: the concept of death), since to die also means, that we have lived as an individual being before, and that is exactly what the ego tries to proof.
So fear is first of all the fear of the ego, that we as the decision maker in our mind, decide against it and secondly can be a welcome feeling, to prove the reality of the world as a frightening place, where the ego is our only protector.
Very early on in the workbook, we learn, that we are never upset for the reason we think and this holds true for fear too. We never fear, what we think is the reason for it - e.g. the outside world or other people.
Instead, we are afraid of the content in our mind and in the end - as the fourth obstacle to peace tells us - we are afraid of God.
Salvation: God’s plan to substitute fear with love
The secret of salvation is but this: that you are doing this unto yourself.
The biggest revelation one can have regarding fear is, that all we ever were afraid of in the end is ourselves. This is the bottom line.
In other words: we are afraid of the content in our own mind and the terror we meet there. People have over the ages tried to change the content of their mind through all kinds of methods - this is like rearranging the furniture on the sinking Titanic, simply for the fact that in truth, there is no world outside and no people.
All there is, is one Mind. One Mind, that is split into an illusionary world of separate people and in Truth. Looking on our mind through the eyes of the ego, we have all the reasons to be afraid of both.
Yes, we also fear God, Peace, Love and Truth. This is the fourth obstacle in the „Obstacles to Peace“ section I wrote about above.
The ego is afraid of God, because it can only think of reward and punishment - of attack and counter-attack. Since it believes that it has separated from God, it automatically fears the return because it awaits punishment.
The ego-god found in most major religions does play into this fear. This God (or the picture of God that the ego has made and written about in the bible etc) is a God of revenge and punishment. Of course, the ego fears this kind of God! All religions are based on fear and full of revengeful horror stories. They invented the concept of sin to control the masses through their made-up ethics system.
The real God on the other hand - the God of Oneness and Truth - has no idea of this world the ego has made. God is only Love and Peace - pure Being. There is no room for judgment in God, because to be able to judge you need two. So there is also no room for fear because death (the ultimate punishment) doesn’t exist for God either. This leaves us with only one feeling possible and that is love/peace - the absence of fear - and only option that is left.
Making it practical
I want to leave you with some practical advice. The next time you feel fear, instead of searching for a reason and starting to look for solutions, just become aware, that you are actually afraid of the content in your own mind.
You are never afraid of others or situations. Fear is only generated inside your own mind and through a decision for the egos voice and nothing else.
Without believing the ego’s story there is no fear.
Say to yourself: „I am afraid of the content of my mind. I am afraid of myself!“. Then stop. Do nothing more than that.
The ego may present to you a million reasons for whom to blame or who is the perpetrator and who is the victim - fearful stories. of future punishment and suffering Just leave this story alone - don’t analyze it or try to understand it. Most of all: keep quiet! Don’t be your own therapist.
Simply stay with the realization, that you are afraid of yourself.
Let this be your guidance during your daily activities:
„I am afraid of the content of my mind. I am afraid of myself!“
Then be open to experience the biggest change in your consciousness possible- actually, it is the only real change - Peace.
Love and Blessings,
Posted from my blog https://atmos.black/you-were-always-only-afraid-of-yourself/