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RE: To almost die is to live.
It's difficult, but there are still ways to find some things that are true and meaningful.
Artistic endeavours are a powerful way to connect with our innermost self, were there are powerful emotions and perceptions we are barely aware of in ordinary life.
Love, all the forms of it, is also a potentialy infinite source of meaning, sharing something with others that goes beyond the ordinary aspects of life.
Most importantly, what you wrote is applicable to physical danger, but also to danger to the ego, ie. ego death, brought by meditation (and/or psychedelic drugs). Realising we are not a disconnected organism but really a part of the all-inclusive universe that is somehow experiencing itself is indeed a profound and rejuvenating experience.
Do you have any experience with that? With the death of the ego?
With me it is the case that my ego "dies" when I consciously part with it. I succeed better in my work than in my private life. When I notice that anger, rejection and judgement form, I say goodbye to it and immediately the difference in the relationship between me and a person is clearly noticeable. This shows that a conversation can develop much more benevolently than when the ego jumps on every sentence and wants to contradict, fight or manipulate. It makes working more fluid and a day is far less strenuous. :)
Yes, I've had many psychedelic experiences in the past which, for some moments, shattered the concept of the ego. This incited me to practice meditation regularly, and while the ego never "dies" completely, it is liberating to feel it lose its grip on our self.
I've had the same experience that you describe! Indeed we are more in control of our emotions than we usually think. When I get angry with someone, I try to act even more kindly than usual, which usually diffuses the anger and makes the situation more agreable for all persons involved.
I remember a very ludicrous moment of truth when in such an experience with psychedelic substance I said perfectly and absolutely honestly to a friend that she should immediately stop chattering stupid stuff. I saw that she was stressed and somehow twitching around and it seemed unnecessary to me to spread such excitement. I had a feeling of absolute sincerity and affection. In a normal ego state, you can't say something like that without endangering your friendship. On the same night, I was with all the people whom I looked behind their masks and felt a little sorry for, but to whom I felt at a silly distance that had nothing to do with pity but rather with compassion. In between I gave myself up to a stream of tears. But I did not feel the need to be comforted. ... Hard to explain.
Such experiences may help or be an initial spark for everyday life. After all, you can't change your consciousness all the time with a little remedy. That must succeed even without it. And some people aren't receptive at all or don't want to be, no matter what they take. They feel ashamed afterwards or make it small and ridiculous. Too bad about the experience ;-)
So happy, that you can confirm in the everyday experiences too.
I quite understand your experience. In such moments we are painfully aware of all the masks that we and others wear, and of the anxiety that is associated with preserving these masks (which includes the pressure of doing small talk to seem like a cheerful person). It's good that you were able to be honest with your friend, this is the basis of deep relationships.
A rare experience like this can be a great inspiration for how to handle "regular life".