The Buddha Habit (tm) - Frustration techniques

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Being alive in this physical world will always bring frustrations. How we deal with them has a direct effect on our physical bodies and everyone around us. As you know our minds and bodies are connected. When we feel anxiety or stress stemming from frustration, we are physically poisoning our own bodies which lead to real sickness like high blood pressure, ulcers, strokes, etc. Like most self created suffering of the mind, it is our thoughts that are the culprit if you are not in control of them.

For instance, say you are trying to do something that requires intricate dexterity, like threading a needle, unscrewing a bolt in a tight space or something similar. You are likely doing a task that you want to get done quickly and efficiently. Your mind may already be traveling to the next task, or creates an arbitrary time expectation. You start to rush. Every time you fail at what you are doing adds to your frustration, which makes you want to get it done faster. It grows from there. You are completely focused on your frustration even though you don't realize it. Your thoughts gyrate back and forth from the failure of your task to getting the task done, whipping you up into a frenzy until anger steps in and then it turns into a tornado of emotion. You scream out an expletive or throw something and storm off. Sound familiar?

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The trick is to catch yourself getting frustrated and circumvent your mind from carrying you away emotionally. I've mentioned a few techniques how I like to re-direct my mind to create a Mindless, focused thought energy that breaks the cycle of negative thoughts and emotions (TEs). From previous posts ...

<<Don't do this while driving, but if anger or frustration start to take over me, I close my eyes and imagine where my hands are in space in front of me. You start to feel a warm, buzzing sensation where you "know" your hands are even though you can't see them. The more you focus on that feeling, your mind stops it's path to anger or frustration. It's a technique by Eckhard Tolle that really works.

Another trick is to start staring intensely at something, REALLY stare at it and focus on it. Study every single detail, the light, the shadows, the shapes, the geometric patterns, the colors, textures, etc.

Another I like to do is to focus on my breathing and then all the physical sensations I'm feeling at the time. It might be the warmth of the sun on my skin, or the wind tickling the hairs on my arm. It might be my toes grabbing onto the fibers of the carpet or the sensation of the skin of my feet rubbing on the floor. I move from sensation to sensation, directing my thought energy to different parts of my body.>>

<<My two favorite ways to achieve this and circumvent TEs is to close my eyes and feel where my hands are in space. I focus on it intensely until I can feel a warm, buzzing sensation, then I hold onto that until I realize my thoughts have ceased. The second is to close my eyes and first focus on my breathing, then my Third Eye (look up slightly and focus on the space between your eyebrows), breathing in I say to myself, "I'm not my body", breathing out I say, "I'm not even my mind". The first is a technique by Eckhart Tolle, the second from Sadhguru. >>

If I already know a certain task may be frustrating I meditate beforehand to prepare for potential frustration. I'm sure everyone has similar situations, like having to wait in line at the DMV or dealing with a certain family member, etc. If you prepare yourself mentally beforehand, it helps to circumvent the emotions which lead to negativity within yourself. I simply tell myself, "This is going to be frustrating, be extra aware of your TEs". It really helps to catch the TE's before they mushroom out of control.

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I'm sure you've all heard the term,"Take a deep breath" in relation to frustrating situations. It is another kernel of truth that surrounds us. When you feel frustration, acknowledge you're feeling frustrated, re-direct your mind to taking a deep breath and by focusing on it, you've broken the cycle of negativity.

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I'm starting to notice there are many things that work on the same principle. Strange analogy, but have you ever had to go to the bathroom really badly and the more you focus on it, the more badly you feel like you have to go to the point of bursting? But then, you get distracted by something and although you still have to go, the overwhelming severity has somehow diminished? How could it go from almost peeing your pants to not having to go as badly anymore? The power of focusing your thoughts.

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When I was a kid I used to work with my Dad during the Summer, landscaping outside in 100 degree temperatures. Not fun. I used to sit down in frustration thinking about how hot and miserable I was, how I wished I were somewhere else and how long it was going to take me to dig the rest of the 100 foot long sprinkler line trench. My Dad just told me, "Stop thinking about it so much and start digging. Before you know it you'll be done". Another kernel of wisdom. What I would add was to focus intently on the digging part, watching the shovel break the dirt, watch the dust get kicked up, study how deep the trench was, the color of the dirt, etc. The intense focus on these details are what bring you into the present, make you the Watcher and seemingly warp time. Acknowledge you're starting to feel frustrated and catch your Mind in the act, re-direct your thoughts back to the Present moment. You have broken free of the negative TEs and frustration because your Spiritual self has re-taken control of your Mind (Physical self).