Measuring personal success
One of my measurements of success is based on finding a way to survive without hurting people. If you can find a way to survive without having to directly hurt others then that is a measure of success. But to be honest and real about it, it's not always an option not to hurt others and sometimes the only choices are who gets hurt and how many. So I've updated this to something which is to find a way to survive in the society I'm in which minimizes or balances out the amount of direct harm I cause to others. I recognize in today's society (or yesterday's society) it likely is impossible to live a life where you don't cause any measurable damages to others but it is possible to limit the damage by only directly hurting people when it's absolutely necessary.
Who are the people I would least want to hurt?
Anyone who tries to help me, support me in some way, cares about me in some way, or who cares about someone I care about, I definitely do not want to hurt them. This doesn't mean mistakes don't happen but if there is a priority to be set then it would be to do everything I can to avoid hurting these people. But who I hurt or don't hurt is only one measurement of personal success, and to hurt the minimum amount of people over a lifetime is a rational thing to do if you're trying to minimize potential drama, animosity, and strife for yourself.
Sometimes hurting others is necessary
In most cases if people respect you personally and professionally there is no reason for striking first, but there are going to be instances where you deal with a person who has no respect for you personally or professionally, who intends to hurt you and or those you care about, and who doesn't care about you or anyone you care about. What do you do in situations where you have to deal with totally disrespectful people who have harmful intentions?
In these instances it is on you to defend yourself from their harmful intentions. It becomes a matter of self respect, and respect for the people you prioritize, to defend yourself and them from the hostile attacker. In situations where it's self defense then you can only choose who gets hurt. Just as in desperate situations of survival you may have to be the aggressor to hurt others just to survive. When the choice that remains is who to hurt then at least for me it's easier to figure out who to prioritize as who not to hurt in the situation.
Conclusion
Avoid hurting people when you are in a position to do so without it hurting you or people who care about you. If you do hurt a person then don't hurt the wrong person. If you had to hurt a person due to bad circumstances or mistakes then try to right the wrong at a later time if necessary indirectly. What this all means is that it matters what other people think of you, and it's important to try to look out for the people who try to look out for you. This isn't the golden rule of do onto others, but it's treat others as they would like to be treated and as they would be willing to treat you.
So if you are dealing with a person who is willing to treat you how you want to be treated, you should treat them as they want to be treated.
References
Spira, D. (2013, January 18). Golden Rule, Platinum Rule, Diamond Rule. Retrieved from https://danspira.com/2013/01/18/golden-rule-platinum-rule-diamond-rule/
hurting others is hurting your own self
And helping others is helping yourself!
I find this a good article. It's daring to put something that sounds negatively as hurting other people into words. But that's what reality is. Non aggression principle should be the norm, but when attacked without justified reasons, we should protect ourselves or fight back. :)
@dana-edwards, thanks for share it...
I think you´re right, please don´t hurt me :$ lol.
How my father said: "Don´t do to you brother, something that you don´t hope than someone did you!!!"
Greetings from Colombia.
St.Francis wrote this poem and I think it says what you are saying also. Nice post and thank you.
"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy."
" O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life."
dubloon135
Great read. Basically, try not to hurt others if you can absolutely can. However, if it's not avoidable, try not to cause maximum harm.
Love your post.
To me this all boils down to globalization. Too many people feel divided, feel the need to compete because they are so socially conditioned into feeling an 'us-them' condition towards many different societies and people.
When so many cultures can't even communicate with each other it makes sense that there would be conflict. The only way to become united is to globalize. Expand projects like the European Union and create a universal language. Decentralize currency but still have different structures to govern different lands and cultures and stuff.
Or if aliens came all would be well. In the snap of a finger all of humanity is 'us'. Fingers crossed for peaceful aliens XD.
Loved the post, keep it up!
I think, doing right thing no matter what, always works out great. But knowing what's right is not always easy. Thank you for sharing!
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. ~Bob Marley