I have tears running down my face. I mean really! I am HOWLING with laughter! Not at you, but with you.
I have had some experience fingers - contaminated by chilli - in places they shouldn't be. You have my sympathy...
Just remember to shower upside down.
On a more serious note: when I met The Husband 20 years ago, I cut chillies for the first time. He likes spicy food. I discovered that I was allergic and for a while, he got the chopping chilli job. Now, as I say, 20 years later, I chop chillies and one of my best sellers, and taken to parts of South Africa, Sweden and the UK is my chilli jam.
Go figure!
Haha showering upside down. DON'T GO TO VISUAL!
I am okay being laughed at and don't take myself too seriously. I have to learn how to make hot sauce, pickle relish, and pickle/pepper relish this weekend. My wife is convinced I am not going to do it so I have to prove her wrong and do what I said I am gonna do.
Any advice/suggestions?
Google is a good place to start... And actually, pickles are really simple: you need a basic brine - usually spices, vinegar, water and sugar. Ratios and blends depend on your taste. Here are links to my pickle and jam recipes. They will give you a sense of what you could do. I have also put chillies into a vinaigrette and bottled that. Also, you may want to grade / separate the hotter fnckers from the less hot ... That might be too much work.
Chilli Jam https://www.fionasfavourites.net/2016/05/02/jammin-with-chillies/
Pickles - there are a few, but you can get a sense of the different brines
https://www.fionasfavourites.net/2016/02/22/a-pretty-pickle-or-two/
https://www.fionasfavourites.net/2018/08/19/faux-daikon-pickle/
I haven't got round to making some of these recipes downloadable, but I do have them in Word if you want them.
Oh and scrub them fingernails when your'd done.
Let me know how you go!
Leaving you with pictures in your head of showering upside down ;)