That One time I Called My Best Friend a Mutant (at her wedding)

in #speeches7 years ago (edited)

Meagan has always been a mutant. And I have been her best friend since 6th grade, so I can totally say that at her wedding and not get anything thrown at me. I don’t mean that she is the freaky, misshapen kind of mutant, but the X-men, superpowers kind of mutant. Meagan’s superpower is influence. Like all mutants, as a child she sometimes misused this power. I stayed with her family over the summer when we were in middle school. She convinced me that if I just trashed her moms carton of cigarettes, she would magically quit smoking. I didn't realize what happened until I was waist deep in a dumpster, digging that carton out. Who knew they were so expensive? This is probably not the most effective way to ask someone to quit- but Meagan had managed to mastermind the whole scheme, and I was her favorite henchman.

As an adult however, I have seen Meagan grow into her powers and use them for good. I have seen it in the way she planned this wedding, where she was very diplomatic with me when I threw out an idea that was WAY TOO MUCH and she ignored me (this was probably a defense mechanism she learned very early in our relationship). Bad metaphor aside, Meagan has managed to ensnare Joe in the gentlest, kindest, this is good for you so stop complaining kind of way.

When you walk into Meagan and Joe's home, you instantly know that they are perfect for each other. Especially their computer room. If you have never been, they have two computer desks, one on each wall. Its an analogy for their relationship- they work on their separate tasks together. And they do it well. If that's not a relationship goal, I don't know what is.

To Meagan and Joe. May you always use your powers for good.


After-face (or whatever you call it). This was a speech that I gave as a bridesmaid at my best friend @luthvarian's wedding. Let me set the scene. Somehow I managed to have a major migraine THAT morning. I slept through much of the pre-wedding work (see super embarrassing photo of me passed out below). I managed to get through the speech during both the ceremony and the reception, although I'm pretty sure I dented Meagan's pristine phone trying to read the speech off it. I didn't drink at all, but might have sounded a little drunk. Somehow she still loves me.



Words are property of Sunravelme

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