I See A Lot Of People Online That Think They Are Depressed.

They're not so much as depressed as they are sad from their world.

They're not so much as sad from the pain they've experienced,

More so,

they are looking and searching their world to and through,

to find something, someone that mirrors back at them.

And, I know that I wasn't crazy.  I saw a whole world that went crazy.

The cops killing people, and people connected in ways where,

they knew who they were - whoever they are!

I wasn't so sad as I was frustrated, and dealing with depression where it was an uphill battle,

but I knew I was just seeking out my world for something better.

And, when you want to rise up and get those better things.

Get out of the urban lifestyle that everyone else lived.

I just wanted to live a quiet life somewhere - off in the middle of nowhere,

while this world was working on killing a whole lot of people.

I worked on strategies to love the world better and to stop the pain as it should!

It should!

STOP!

But, pain was basically promised to us.

Our ways, and our teachings didn't teach us things like this.

It taught us to love, but never showed us how.

What it showed us was lust, and hate and more fucking pain!

I wasn't afraid anymore to say what I wanted to say!

War or not war, and that's the question?

Whatever excuse is made to go to war, is a bloodbath so other people get paid!

Your pain is another mans treasure.

Your pain was the next corporations pleasure!

And, no one could believe you in the feelings you shared,

because your world was turning wicked as inside their hearts snare.

The truth, banned and broken - from the homes to the church,

as if God was mistaken for Santa Clause since birth.

This is your world, your world.  Not mine!  Not mine!

All the time I sat up late at night trying to figure it all out.

When one day in came into my heart, like a furious shout.

And, when I shouted it out, I felt like I had something more.

Something more, then this world can ever know while it squanders in it's pleasures all broken and sore!

All for what?

Money?

Things?

And, some lack of sincerity or respect?

I know one day, we'll all be knocking on heavens door,

because this world was not your best friend like it wanted to pretend.

This world was more like a nightmare,

where not knowing the answer was half the battle.

This world was more like a treasure that somehow humanity left behind,

in cold fear,

in cold wars,

and fighting forevermore.

But, I saw that it wasn't right.

I wanted to go the other way,

and there was someone else there.

Someone else making sure that my life didn't feel fair!

It was 1, 2, 3 and then 4.

People kept asking questions and wanting to know more.

They asked me if I was afraid and I'd say, no not really.

But, I was afraid of dying.

I was afraid of what comes next?

Because knowing is half the battle.

Was love in store?  Or just more hate?

Was war all that this world could replace with peace,

I thought, Good Lord, and For Heavens' Sake!

This world is going to know me.

This world is going to feel my heart beating!

I wasn't what this world was,

nor what it was willing to put me through.

And, nor was anyone else.

And, nor was you!

People just ended up getting pumped up full of emotions,

emotions that sometimes felt like they were out of nowhere!

If, there was no reason,

and no reason to scream for help?

Then there wasn't anything left fighting for,

because knowing was half the battle.

And everyday, I knew I was that one more day,

closer to death.

But, I knew there could be a way out,

If I persevered and kept trying,

Like never before!

So, I did.

I smashed goals,

I made some new friends.

Every time I believed in something more

that something more came

But, everything got so dark and wicked,

that I could tell you weren't my best friend.

I knew the world had gotten to you in a way

that felt as though you were in worlds of pain.

Stress can do things that make people snap.

And stress is something that can be added onto you.

Stress is something that people needed to sort through,

where you felt no one was willing to mirror back at you.

I knew, somehow - that I was looking right on through...

Because, you felt like you had the answers,

and thought I had none.

While half the time battling for more,

I just wanted you to know what my heart was for.

I found out my heart when I started letting it out.

And, little by little - the world just grew darker and darker for me.

That's what people saw of me,

and I couldn't prove of anything more.

But, I sure showed people what my heart was for.

I loved you in impossible ways, 

and in unbelievable pressure.

I fought the storms of pressure and chose to be happy.

I fought the depression as if it wasn't even there.

I told myself depression was just another name for happy.

And, I became happy.

I flew through the air and with my rollerblades on...

it was me against the world,

while the world was my best friend.  (That's kind of a pun!)

Nonetheless, I needed you there,

I needed to know that you had a reason to be there,

more-over what the world was willing to pump into your heads.

Games, rock and roll and sex on television.

This world had become mans best friend.

While the good people got ignored.

They said, "I got this!"

"No, really - I got this!"

The only thing they needed to do was hide something.

Hide a small fact

or a small thing.

As if there was no help, and I'm sorry, but your son is dying!

Everyday, every single minute sometimes - he's dying inside.

But, the only thing that he wanted was to be vindicated as someone that you thought more of.

But, all he thought is that these people only thought so little of you.

So, while you burned and this world scorched your very own heart,

stomping out your ability to perform daily tasks.

You grew bigger and better, because you're under a lot of pressure.

But, the pressure is what made things get so dark!

The stress is what made the aggravated pains.

You, knew this pain well - half of this world was sad.

Even if you weren't "depressed" you were broken in some fashion.

When how could you not be?

How could you sit there and pretend as though you're not sad?

This whole world is confused on whether or not we're going to war,

and from what I found it was all a monopoly to make more money...

of the blood, sweat and tears of your dying employee's.

And, so this is what I felt so strongly about!

I saw on YouTube people being gassed up and burned alive.

Heavens' Sake!

What was it all for?

I also saw a lot of things that I didn't even agree that could be true.

And, it got to a point where I was connecting things of my world more like a movie.

This world was hurting people - and hurting so badly.

That I just wanted to end the pain that I saw happening!

Bradley Manning - released a video - where they were using cellphones as tracking devices to blow people up.

And the people that were blown up were children and innocent families!

I thought, "doesn't the world see anything that's happening!?"

I thought, "what a shame that this world has come to!"

And, then I heard a knock at the door!

It was the police - coming to take me in!

I thought, "Gee, wow - because you know something, you're going to be hurt?"

God was my best friend now, as I was hurt, alone, and scared at best!

These people make you feel as though there is not anyone here to help you.

But, we're here to hurt you!

We're here to set you up!

We're here to make you feel urban blight like you never thought before!

You couldn't get a job!

You couldn't do anything!

Because your world was breaking you!

As breaking you was the best thing it could!

But, I wasn't broken!

I was healing!

This world just didn't understand me!

Whistle-blowers under attack!

Real doctors being murdered and covered up and censored!

Real care was being "hidden" as if you're being tricked!

Real love was the way though that you looked out your door,

From in your heart, and for something more.

This world couldn't break you anymore.

This world couldn't even fake what you had.

This world couldn't take that away from you,

but it tried and it did in 1,000 different ways.

But, it didn't matter because I sought out to do right.

And, I stand by it that the Lord will protect me.

Because had this world been able to kill me as bad as my world - I felt did.

This world knew I was going to be in a better place.

Because I was already feeling as though I was in God's very grace!

Feeling on my rollerblades without medications!

Geeze, and that's all it took!

So do something you love and tell someone you love, that you love them - before they die.

Don't ever ask me if a person died in my life!

Or if someone who could be alive had passed!

When you don't know how much a person could ever mean to you - 

if you never were able to get that word out,

or get that thing out!

OR LOVE YOUR BEST FRIEND!

Because, you should be able to love the people around you,

and be able to trust the things you see around you aren't hurting you.

But, sometimes - over in war, and they claim war in America!

Muslims walking the streets in America the other day,

screaming "Death to America!"

I say, "HELL NO!"

Death to this fucking madness, this fucking anger!

And death to the hate that we see up on the faces!

The faces that are war-ridden, broken and bruised!

People who lost their families - in their words "to I don't know who?"

"It could be ISIS, or some malitia, but what does it matter when I lost my little girl?"

You all didn't know what I was fighting for!

I was fighting for love!

I was fighting for family!

I was fighting for you!

I wasn't fighting the people that I love!

I was fighting something bigger then I was.

This world had become a monster!

Inside of my chest, I could feel it was there!

And, I knew somewhere in each and every single one of you,

that you were somehow feeling it too!

It was a lot of pain, and too much to ignore.

But, you knew you needed to get away and you did,

for the safety of your own head!

I had nowhere else to go but watch those damn things.

Over and over and over again!

To fight for what I thought was what the world still cared about.

But, it didn't.

It's not love!

I thought, "where did the love go?"

Oh, shit - "Love was knocking at your door now."

Everything that you gave, it tried to take away.

Everything that you worked hard for,

it was taking away!

Your money!

Your ability!

Your own will to love harder!

Your own will to want to do better!

Your own will to do more.

This world was just what it seemed it should be in the end times,

But, that just wasn't satisfying to me!

That didn't sound like anything more then living in a sort of way where you're basically dead!

And, I couldn't live in denial of my very own best friend.

I didn't care if you couldn't see Him, or feel Him.

I saw Him in everything!

I even saw him in...

Well..,

YOU!

I saw Him in everything that wasn't Him.

And, God was my best friend!

If I couldn't love God and be able to love my world around me?

I thought, "to the hell with you, then!"

I see way too many people thinking they are depressed.

They aren't depressed though,

they just had a hard go at life,

and no one believed in them.

Not like they ever could!

No one shared that feeling of where?

Where was this world mirroring me back?

Where did it care!?

I had an algorithm that cared more then this world did.

But, this world was lost, it was not your best friend.

It said, "Son, just take it like a man!"

"This world will throw away that pride son!"

"So feel it, when you can!"

So feel it, when you want to."

I personally have been feeling it at the cross!

Crying so loud, son!

I've been crying so loud, son - 

because I wanted to see you!

I wanted to see this world come through for me once!

Once, as if it had a heart!

As if it harnessed one still...

and I took it like a man.

Because, I cried to that cross!

I cried, because - this world allowed me to lose a piece of me that had meant the most.

I lost you, son!

My first born son of mine!

My fist - I made at this world, son!

Trying to get this heart of mine!

To be next to you!

Just, suck it up son of mine,

because there's a new life on that horizon - I believed!

As I cried - as I should!

Not unable to!

Not unable to - take it to the place that it was.

But, I did the right things,

and I tried so hard,

to bring that thing to you!

That I cried, son!

I wasn't a failure though,

more then this world just was...

a pile of hate,

in it's

shit

show!

Don't you ever be depressed, angels on the horizon!

Don't let this world,

Tare your heart away!

If you want to sing that song, you should sing!

If you want to do anything, you should be able to do that thing, and not something else!

Don't take shit, and fight when the time is right.

Because this world was only making it able for people to fight for their lives!

It didn't harness that heart of yours,

which is why I wasn't there.

How could I have been?

She took away the dream I had to have my own first son...

To have you in my arms and have a family.

She, took a part of me that killed me each day,

as I fought to make that money,

the world seemingly took away that chance!

But, I knew my heart was in the right place,

and where that's concerned.

I'm going to never stop!

Trying to find a way to give this heart of mine,

over to you.

I wanted to spend time with you,

and have a real family.

I wanted to not create more father wounds,

like I've felt my whole life!

I never wanted it to be the way that it had been for me either.

I wanted it to be different.

This world just didn't give people a chance in life.

It just took it away, whenever and however it seemed that it could.

Even if I was doing the right things.

I was being attacked by cops acting like they're my best friend.

I know better though.

Some of these cops were not your best friend, when...

they took away my chance to keep getting ahead in life.

Every chance that it could,

I'd become this worlds bitch!

I got so tired of being this worlds bitch though

That I began to speak out!

And just when I did,

I felt that I was breaking in my heart,

from all the stress.

I was so stressed out!

Don't misplace stress and a whole lot of ass holes as if you're "depressed!"

I know what you want, kid.

It's love.

And, I love you!~

Don't ever let this world break you, kid.

I loved you more then I ever was allowed to!

I prayed a lot!

And, I stayed a lot!

I just couldn't get this world to sway my way.

That pendulum swinging,

it never came back - my - way!

I saw it, and every time I was almost there,

I was being pulled over again,

in what seemed like it was being trumped up on me.

and now things were happening that made me feel

as though this whole world is just going to act unreal!

And as though I can't get out of bed.

And, it's more then less trying to take away my chance,

of ever getting that kind of life back again.

But, I'm not scared so much as I know things.

Things that this world is willing to do,

to take that pride away,

and make you swallow their grief more.

I know that this whole world could've done better.

Better then this for me.

For you.

For a whole lot of people.

I knew that this world was being treated,

like it's guinea pigs!

Little bite sized lifestyles and people really trying,

and trying hard,

who aren't so much as allowed to make it.

Somehow, I felt I knew what needed to be done.

So I went after it trying to make it with my song!

My hearts - song!

This world can suck it up slowly!

Because - I simply didn't give a shit anymore!

Whatever it wanted to have done,

I knew in my heart it was wrong!

I tried to stay away from those things,

so that I could tell my world,

before I died,

that I really

REALLY

TRIED!

So much, it hurts worse!

Just to know, love's not your best friend.

Especially where if you believed in God,

it was as though you were some mans enemies who are closer!

As the saying goes, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

I say live long, and fight for your family and fight for what you know is right in your heart.

And, take whatever comes, and deal with it.

Take it, and make it how you want it.

Because, this worlds planned for a long time just to kick people upside the head sideways,

from the class room to the streets.

This world cared about not caring!

This world didn't give a fuck about anyone!

And, some people will tell you, show you,

and some of those people are like bandits.

Way out of sea!

Treating people like cargo!

What have you got for me!

This is what I feel of this world,

so excuse me if I'm wrong,

but, I loved you more then I could ever show.

I loved you and wanted to sing that song someday.