RE: The Social Birds & the Bees: The socialization of gender, a toy store ethnography
Fabulous. I guess I could identify as non binary, but I guess I've always called it 'I can do what I like despite how you are trying to socialise me how to behave'. I fell in love with my husband because of his 'manly' traits - i.e he was very practical, could use a hammer and fix an engine, but at the same time declare my capabilities in this area in the same way I fell in love with him for traits that might be regarded as 'feminine' - lithe frame, ability to cry when he hits a bird with his car, and can cook. We both identified as bisexual, which also helped. We both were raised by woman who taught us that woman were strong and capable, and would have slapped anyone who told them otherwise. My father treated me like a person, which meant it didn't matter what I did male/female wise, he just loved me as a person. It's how we raise our kids that matter.
Yeah, it sounds more like you have the idea that @porcheberry has mentioned. Identifying with non-binary is more than just defying social norms, but more about not relating with any concept of male or female. It sounds like you had a wonderful set of parents to give you a great set of supports to develop into a bright shining star. I think it's highly important to treat everyone like a person, especially children! Our impact on children is HUGE, even during short exposures.
There is an incredible book called the body keeps the score. I think I might have told you about this to 4. It really goes into the impact of parents and adults on children and how it impacts our entire lives on a level that goes far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. It actually made me realise that people from damaged families and damaged relationships need therapy and education to help them be better parents and probably the parents that they would like to be but can't because of past trauma. Even though we are talking about the socialization of gender here, I feel that if we were to really change the world we would provide support for families. You could have a real cultural shift . Because in the end when you treat people with love and respect as the primary motivator for how we relate to people none of these definitions even matter. I don't know I probably have gone a bit of track yes LOL
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