Love, kind of

#methree

people dont like to accept responsibilty for being in abusive relationships

whether you're the abusive one

or the abused

or both

people don't acknowledge that most abusive relationships are consensual

at least on a subconcious level

we attract what we think we deserve

abusive relationships are like having a relationship under fire

in a warzone

there really are no rules

both people understand, intuitively its not healthy

but neither leaves

co dependency

a socially acceptable addiction

you hate yourself but dont want to be alone

most days go back and forth between fucking and fighting

anger

lust

release

and repeat.....

expecting the same person that makes you feel like shit

to make you feel better

they are in total control of your happininess

they give a little

take away a little more

give a little

take away a little more....

they only give to take away

i can't give what i take away

both people are miserable

but instead of genuinely commiserating

and

comforting one another

they each sieze the opportunity

to criticize

instead, waiting for the other person to fuck up

so they can say

HAHA!

i told you so!
.
and so it goes back and forth

each new wrong by one person

justifies the other persons wrong before it

trading jibes

killing vibes

fuck you!

no, haha!

fuck you very much!

in my opinion, verbal abuse is much worse than the physical
its not the loud screaming and name calling so much as the
overall tone of day to day conversations
no matter what the conversation is

all you start to hear is

"oh great,you fucked up again"

"because thats what you are"...

"a fuck up"

it would get to the point where i couldnt tell if
she was actually saying it

or

it was all in my head

yep, id much rather get slapped and take a punch
than to have someone push my buttons all day
odd as that may sound

or

worse than pushing your buttons

fuck your friends

thats the worst

nothing can break your heart more than that

when you already feel like shit about yourself

and it inevtably sets you up for disaster in following relationships

because you dont trust anybody...

friends

or

lovers

destructive relationships stem from people unwilling to be alone

not being happy with themselves

and

out of desperation

choose to let people into their lives

again, looking externally for completeness

Looking for "love" in all the wrong places

We all want somebody to love us

to be intimate with...

But we have to love ourselves first

Nobody deserves to be abused

but we need to ask why it happens as much as it does

chalking it up to "bad people" solves nothing

it doesn't acknowledge the fact that the most abusive people have had the same thing done to them

abuse is passed down

learned

if an abused person doesnt address the issue the cycle of abuse continues

never hit a woman

good rule

but

i would change this to "never hit anyone"

doesnt that make more sense?

meaning its not okay for women to hit men either

there seems to be a cultural double standard with this

now, if a smaller weaker man

hits a bigger man
and the bigger man retaliates
its considered understandeable

why then is it different if the aggressor is a woman?

what does gender have to do with responding instinctively to aggression?

its a natural reaction

i thought we were all equals?

no?

regardless of gender, if you intentionally provoke somebody
you are responsible for what comes next

dont hide behind imaginary rules of ettiquette

everybody is responsible for controlling their anger

whether you are

young

old

female

male

And, why the fuck aren't people smart enough

to recognize the warning signs

before abuse goes full throttle?

Where's the accountability there?

who is responsible for my judgement?

i am

abusive people don't all look the same

rich

poor

men

women

young

old

People will allow a person into their life

and then play the victim

because its better than being alone

Which brings me to people who love to play the victim

both men and women

men will get aggressive

women will empty your bank account

Some people constantly bring negative people

into their lives just so they can feel like the victim

I suppose in some sense it makes them feel better about themselves

they go their whole lives playing the victim

know why?

Because it's easier to blame other people

than it is to look good and hard at yourself and your own decisions

it relieves them of accountability

"my life wouldve been better if i hadnt met you"

sure it would have

not acknowledging that it was their choice too

no accountability

It never fails to amaze me when people are admittedly attracted to

"bad boys"

or

"bad girls"

and then whine about them living up to their reputation

and

just because someone is sweet and trusting

does not excuse them from the responsibility of their decisions

perspective

When it comes to the consistent abuse of women

we have to remember that up until about 70 years ago in the US

women were expected to obey

couldn't vote

couldn't voice their opinion

they were considered lesser

All this shit trickles down folks to the collective mentality

it was culturally acceptable for men to control women

i obviously don't agree with this

i find liberated women refreshing

I'm simply pointing out

that the world has changed really fast

technologically

sociologically

maybe the chauvenist industrial attitude still faintly lingers

men are trying to figure out there new roles

it can be somewhat confusing at times

fanatical feminism seems to often contradict itself

"women are the same as men but dont talk to us like men"

folks, vulnerability is what attracts men to women

if you insist you are the same as a man

it fucks with the natural order of things

women CAN do everything a man can do

most certainly

but we excel at different things

the difference is the attraction

the difference is why

i am not justifying abusive behavior

simply providing an explanation

as to why some men still behave the way they do

not only do evolutionary gender roles play a role
(to act as a protector)

but

the industrial age sensibilitiy and conditioning

is transitioning to something new

to what i have no idea

apparently robot fuck dolls are involved though

virtual sex

kids getting sex changes

shit's about to get weird

one day you'll probably even hear people say

"jeez"

"i sure do miss the good old days"

"the golden years of domestic violence"

"when abuse was between a real man and a real woman"

"as it should be"

"now all i got is this goddamn robot to scream at"

"shit"

The point is this

you have the choice who you let into your life

It is your decision

therefore the responsibility of that decision falls on you

Stop assuming that everybody plays by your rules and has honorable intentions

it sucks. i know

all the bad shit starts when two

miserable

desperate

people find each other because they hate being alone

As much as I long to be connected with somebody

to relate with a special lady

to find a permanent muse

I am not actively looking for anyone

and when it's suppose to happen

it'll happen

or not

whatever.....

i'll just hump me a goddamn naked robot

precursors to abuse

lying

jealousy

when there is lying

trouble is not far behind

for example

catching someone in a lie can be a volatile situation

especially if they have been questioned about

the lie before......

its the liars that usually flip out the most

not the person who's been lied too

if your the one thats lying

and you have a conscience

you will be consumed with guilt and shame

walking on eggshells

no way to live

lying nearly always has to do with:

another love interest

or

money

forever in debt to your priceless
advice from the love doctor

(yeah me fuckhead)

if you consistently catch your partner lying

its time to calmly reevaluate the situation

don't do something you'll regret

like

become aggressive

provoke a psycho

most people have that

"one thing"

that can make them come unhinged

it's finding out there partner is cheating

not just men either

an angry woman could easily call the police

and

claim domestic violence

there are a lot of dudes sitting in jail

right now for pissing their lady off

cut your losses

reasonable people with self respect

just walk away and move on

with their lives...

slip out the back jack

make a new plan stan

be civilized

maybe take the pet

or

put some visine in the juice in the fridge

be creative

jealousy

no amount of jealousy is good

it always gets progressively worse

jealousy is.......

the most useless

self destructive emotion

it accompolishes nothing

and

its the most unattractive quality

it's all consuming

its counter productive

you

can never make someone love you

simple

when you're going through it you know

logically

it makes no sense...

and it makes you hate you're self even more

but you can't stop yourself from doing it

jealousy is dangerous

its worse than

full blown crack addiction

it's uncontrollable

you never know where its going to be directed

at you?

at a friend of yours?

you must love in a way
that makes the person you love feel free

why do people get jealous?

insecurity mostly

feelings of inadequacy

maybe they've been cheated on before

maybe they just don't want to be alone

guilt. they're doing shady shit on the side
and projecting because of a guilty conscience

i have been jealous

i have had jealous girlfriends

i think it's natural to have a jealous phase

but

snap the fuck out of it Fanny!

maybe you and the other person have different ideas of love

if you dont like the way they dress

or

behavior

move on......

remember this:

it is never somebody else's fault
for making you jealous.....

if you have an attractive or interesting partner

people are occasionally going to notice

unless you make 'em wear a mask

or

lock them in the basement

masochism schizm

i knew a guy with jealous tendencies

that thought it would be a good idea

to date a stripper

poor fucker

never knew what hit him

on a daily basis i was reassuring him

"of course she doesnt ever let other guys touch her tits!"

"she makes $500 a night with chit chat"

"sure you guys are gonna get married"

after the breakup he super glued his

dong hole shut and took a vow of celibacy.

i'm kidding

but some people are really that oblivious

when it comes to relationships

they convince themselves they're going

to make it work on the first date

when you decide to "make it work"

before actually tallying up the evidence

you're fucked

its like saying

"i may end up not liking anything about you"

"we may have nothing in common"

"but I'm committed to the idea of US"

more redundant examples would be like saying:

your favorite food is nachos, but you've never

eaten them

your favorite country is brazil, but you've never been there

your favorite color is green, but you're blind

your favorite author is DR.Seuss, but you've never read him

whats the point?

how the fuck should i know?

but if i had to guess........

experience whatever you're interested in

before you proclaim your devotion

experience things without preconcieved notions

experience things and people as they are

without trying to change them

to your specifications

being in love

is different

than

being in love

with the

idea of being in love