Why Are We Sometimes Mean to Those Who Are Nice to Us?

in social •  last month

Hello, Steemians!

One of the most significant cornerstones of social interaction which leads to success is our aptitude to understand people the way we understand ourselves.

How you approach other people and treat them determines a great deal about your life and future. After all, in every work or breakthrough, no one can deny the importance of social interaction.

Social interaction is the torch that ignites the flame of collaboration.

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But a lot of people find it difficult to connect with other people from a social standpoint. In today’s blog post, I want to talk about people who may be incidentally rude to other people.

This is a dangerous characteristic that can ruin both your reputation and your opportunities.

If you have ever felt the impulse to hurt other people for no particular reason or be mean in response to their kindness, then you are suffering from the mental state of self-hatred.

Self-hatred and lack of confidence can take many forms, and so far as insecurities go, this could be one of the worst manifestations of your inner fears regarding the social world.

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When you doubt your own goodness and nobility, it is easy to question the good intentions of other people, because when they are being nice, you feel like that you do not deserve their kindness or attention.

Then you react and your reaction is unreasonable meanness.

To feel ungrateful about the things you have in life is one thing, but to have hatred towards yourself is another.

This hatred might come from many sources; doubting your own good intentions, feeling like you don’t deserve the respect and kindness of other people, thinking that their kindness might be out of a secret plan to take advantage of you, since you cannot even be sure of your own feelings.

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Obsessing over intrusive thoughts that make you doubt your own personality is the main cause of self-hatred.

Overthinking leads to doubt about almost everything, so it can be hardly surprising when it ends up with you doubting your own kindheartedness.

To stop self-hatred toward yourself, take it easy with your overthinking tendency. Do not assume every possible strand of outcome. Think about how your actions reflect your personality.

In this case, you will end up seeing that you ARE actually a good person.

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In the end, you will be more accepting towards other people and their affections for you.

It is important not to be even accidentally rude or mean to people that you come in contact with if you hope to build lasting connections.

If you want to be rid of that tendency, shake off your intrusive thoughts and have faith in yourself!




Please, take the time to read the text below, it can always change in some points and it is it that has made this community understand and help each other. I would like you to pay close attention to what is written in these notes. Try to really follow what I ask of all of you who are a few months old with me contributing meaningful comments and we have built something really good here along with people who have a positive mindset and we have managed to get more people together like that.

Always read this text of notes because I can making important changes in this text like update names in the list and things to the growth and understanding of how we can improve our foundations and how this community was built until here.

I have been working very hard on this blog since the beginning. I have a very busy life but I am giving my best and believe me I have shared experiences that I have been coaching thousands of people and I know that the change of the Mindset should be daily. I am already grateful to see you giving upvotes to each other and you can see this with the fact that many already have 8, 9, 10 upvotes. But I'm sure that with the effort of all of us we will see a community with, more and more upvotes each others and for that everyone should get engaged so we can make it come true. I believe and we can! Resteem...

In the end you will see that I ask you all to sign up for a youtube channel that I created this specific channel to talk about steem and for projects that I am working on steem that soon I will release a video about that channel. It's important that you sign up for the channel and talk to your friends at steem so they can sign up as well.

There is no video in the channel yet but it is important that you are subscribed to this channel precisely so that you can be notified when I launch something there.

I know everyone has a google account or 99% of people, so you just have to sign up for the channel.

I'm counting on all of you.

***Remember Community: Please, if you commented and upvote on a new post I did, please always go back to the previous one because if someone in the community commented lastly because of time zone differences it will be without your upvote and that would not be fair.

You all know the goal! We can reach: More and More Upvotes each others!


I'm reading all the meaningful comments from the posts.

I am here making a list of all of you who have helped build this community by voting for each other who write meaningful comments and soon I will respond to everyone with comment and thank you all because I can already see this spirit being built in this Positive Mindset community and help between all of you.

You will receive my upvote in all material and brief comments I will do this in all the posts I am following very closely and I can see what the people who are generous and contribute to this legacy that I am trying to build with all of you can become reality in a short time.


First of all, I would like to thank all of you, who are the most active and proactive in this community, showing your generosity and always with meaningful comments. From now on I will always make a list of these incredible people who have helped to expand our goal of growing ever more.

But I ask that if you are new around here you read many of the previous posts because they make it clear that we are building a community with respect among all, generosity and this blog is for those who really want to start moving their Mindset to positive and moreover be part of the growth of all of us who contribute to this blog. Please do not ask to include you in the list if you are just wanting upvotes because we want here people genuinely attuned to growth and good attitudes and as I have always said with Respect as the basis of all, generosity and positivity!


Feel free if you want to be included in the list of contributors to this community. Just ask at the end of your comment.

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hey buddy,

great post!
you should join my memeday contest on Mondays

You know what they say laughter is good for the soul!


is part of


ok upvoted everyone!


@richatvns I leave message for you on steem chat

I have always thought that the people around us are good, bad, special, it is simply what God uses to strengthen our character. A key to understanding the dynamics of thinking is to relate what we are looking for with what, unexpectedly, we have found The secret of social interaction is, among other factors, located in our capacity for empathy.

Thanks @chbartist

Excellent review @chbartist and you are right, we do not need to greatly attract the attention of people near you, just need to understand ourselves and believe that we can be successful! Sometimes obsessive ideas lead us to a dead end and we shut ourselves in from uncertainty, so it is very important to get rid of all this and firmly go forward!

Greetings @chbartist.

The environment can condition our response form.

If we tend to be aggressive people, it can be because we are frequently attacked and we develop forms of defense, generating in the same way aggression as an answer.

One way to change the personality is to change the environment. to achieve an environment that allows the person to evaluate their life and generate the necessary changes that will allow them to improve what they have to improve.

hi BoSS @chbartist nice to see that you are at RP(82)
:) Be blessed

Self hatred is usually an inter-generational pattern that gets passed down. A new born baby has no self hatred - it's just a ball of love!
it has to LEARN self hatred.
patterns that are learned in our earliest years can be difficult to break let alone understand.
it can be done though, with patience and self compassion.

Saludos estimado @chbartist, algunos de nuestros comportamientos se originan por muchas razones pero hay molestias o mejor dicho dolores que son peores que uno físico y te roban las ilusiones y el agrado por la alegría de vivir…

Self confidence is truly the cornerstone to not only leading an exemplary life but also help others do so which creates a great network for continued progress. Most need to follow the rule to treat others as they wish to be treated!

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I really liked this post, even when I've never have that problem. I try to be always nice. I would like to be part of this community because I would like to give what I know, what I've learned, and I need to grow in some aspects this kind of posts might help me. So, what should I do to join?

I work in customer service and you are 100% correct! Every day I see coworkers going out of their way to help and be nice to strangers. Most of the time they get kindness back. Sometimes, they get hatred back - which never made sense to me. Thanks for the insightful post!

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One reason I can consider is that they are not used to being around great hearted individuals and don't have the foggiest idea how to respond. Individuals ingest antagonism on the off chance that they are encompassed by it and let it devour them. Thus, they will put that on others, particularly on the individuals who are certain on the grounds that perhaps they were at one time a constructive individual and had it removed.

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Yea this is an interesting thing to think about. Two contrasting ideas: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." and "Out of sight out of mind." Seems to be conflicting to me, not sure which is more true. Probably the former if I had to pick.

As always, very deep and inspirational. I like very much your way of thinking. Sincerely, I think this post can help me in my attempts of being a little bit more empathic with the rest of the people. Being able to understand them is strongly associated to a powerful connection with them, with the people who live around you. With whom you share your life. Congratulations for the post!

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Hello! Today you chose a very interesting topic. I'd say that the problem you are talking about could be called a mental illness.
Some people also treat others in a rude or mean way when they want to hide or "protect" themselves, trying to look stronger than they are.
Social interactions are extremely difficult for some people. Personally, I find it very complicated to accept others compliments, as I can't believe they truly think them, and that has brought problems throughout my life. Fortunately, I didn't response to them in a rude way!
Once again, very beautiful post!

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People who are broken from within behave rudely knowingly or unknowingly, our face is mirror of our inner emotions so it reflects outwards many times innocent persons around us becomes victim of our rude behaviour, we should control it and have positive attitude and have thankful attitude towards god what we have and achieve our ‘goal’ of life being calm, composed.
Thanks ultimate post @chbartist

Being "mean" can have lot of reasons. From low self esteem, not being aware, jealous, pressured from situation, from bosses or friends etc. It can be also intentional or malicious just like commercials which targeted our self esteem just ro promote certain products whic turn out to be very profitable.
Bosses can be mean sometimes, and can be easily ignore and just dont take it personally, your reaction can be different if it is a co-worker, friends ( depend on the level of frienship) and family member.
What Im telling is being mean to others is just a part of being a human, the important is how you react on it... :)

great post @chbartist on awesome topic it help me to learn something more about human nature and social interaction. Thank you

I want to ask you how can i join this community ?

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I can include you on the list if you want!


Include me. I will greatful to you and happy to join this awesome community

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Really this is very interesting post.I learn many impactful and important things through your post.I agree with your thought that "Social Interaction is the superb quality or skills to join with people at with full of heart." It is the ability to understand other people properly.It is successful while we don't stop ourself to communicate with social world with full of confidence.It gives us power to represent our self valuable.Thank you for sharing this awesome post @chbartist .

Sir how can I join this awesome community?? I want to be a part of it.

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I can include you on list if you want!


Absolutely sir..

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❤️❤️❤️ thanks - we meet everyone for a reason and once we open that door and meet those peeps we will be closer to our Personal Legend ... our true life’s goals

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Great thinking and yes its reality that sometimes we cant understand others behaviour...but its nice to understand yourself first

We as human beings are not the best people to judge other people. We must accept each person as he is and be kind to the people around us, this benefits more we than the others, because from there we will have our inner peace that is more important than resentment and hatred.

I always treat you with kindness and respect for people, so that it is reciprocal. It is true that many people often adopt unpleasant attitudes towards other people and become rude unnecessarily. I had always thought that this was an illness or a condition of the mind. today, you assure me. regards

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

I've had to push past many of these issues because I was also selfish and was simply looking out for myself. Releasing the necessity of taking things personally or feeling I needed to manipulate to control has be liberating.

Yes @chbartist social interaction is most sensible thing for our personality it leads us to succes or failure

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I believe we should care more for the people with whom we are surrounded by but most of time people take them for granted and this is not fair.

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This is good one

Interestingly, most of us will flip-flop, at various times in our lives, between being too nice and being mean. Sometimes we're trying to win approval from someone, and sometimes we're looking down on a person who's being nice to us.

If we're honest with ourselves, we can recognize that sometimes we're in the nice role, and sometimes we're on the other side of the equation.

This happened to me sometimes.
At one time my two nephews were playing and when they were yelling to each other. I thought they were also fighting and hurting.
I immediately shouted at them and they ran away.
After a few minutes I realized my mistake.

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It's a great read. I myself can't control my emotions sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm bad, but it doesn't erase the fact that we actually hurt those people who loves us.

Most times, we try to be nice to people who are rather mean to us.
This can be because we feel pity for them, for instance, a new student comes to school from another school and probably he or she is trolled by the students in the new school maybe 'cause of her looks it something. They fellow might start being rude in response the situation even to people who don't mean no harm. A student in that same class might try to be nice to him/her in other to make him/her confident and handle issues better.

You point your opinion clearly but sometimes people are more vulnerable, sensitive than others and can understand sarcasm or irony as some kind of offense. We are all different and we have different needs and values.
And even when someone is nice it doesn't mean that he's a good person.

Your the one kind of friend here on steemit website that fuel me everyday during reading your stuff I amaze it

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You got a 52.52% upvote from @brupvoter courtesy of @steemium!