Being Socially Awkward

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"Do you want to overcome shyness or anxiety and be confident and charismatic? Do you want to make effortless conversation with anyone, make friends and get dates easily?" 

Honestly probably one of the most disappointing things I have read as of now, as I read these articles almost promising confidence and perfect social skills after boosting your social confidence as if all it takes is to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do it multiple times. 

Now I have considered myself to be socially awkward for as long as I can remember now and as of almost recently I have wanted to change but always end up giving up sadly at the end of the day. Although I am not here to offer a solution to everyone's social problems at all since no one has a solid answer that works for everyone. I want to be able to help people understand what it feels like to be socially awkward, of course everyone knows to some extent since everyone is awkward to a point but I just find from personal experience that so many social butterflies I have met just don't understand. 

From the five word conversations that everyone loves that leaves you very upset and thinking about what you could've said. And the partner I had Junior year in high school that would always look very disappointed when we had to discuss and told me talking isn't hard at all rolling their eyes. Always feeling like you would annoy someone if you even tried to start a conversation with someone and feeling like they wouldn't even want to talk to you at all anyways. There's just a huge wall in the way stopping you all the time and you accept that it's not going to go away no matter how much you tell yourself that one day it will. You accept the fact that you won't be able to talk to the girl you really like and tell yourself to admire her from afar until she leaves forever and there is almost nothing you could possibly do about it. Sadly that is all I have to say and I have to apologize for my poor writing skills but I just thought that it might be nice to write about.

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