A Dating Journey Of A Single Woman
Single life of a Haitian woman is a lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems. The long stories of growing up and finding a Prince Charming getting married having kids, have good credit, a good job, good skin, god fearing, faithful and responsible. This is mostly an “everybody culture” ultimate goal in any culture for woman.
But speaking about my journey is sometimes difficult; when my parents were growing up in Haiti; they did every step the Bible told them to do. Finding a husband and grow a family together, support and seek guidance from each other, up lefting through hard times sticking it through.
My mother was married by her mid twenties and kids by her early thirties. Both. In LOVE, with a house and an American dream. Fast forward decades later BOOM 💥 I’m here😇🤣.
Trying to date in 2018 (30 days into the year lol)...getting hit with bricks of failed relationships 👉🏾( I’m changing that word to “failed-ships”). I’ve grown so much learning more about myself by each mistake I’ve made in the past failed-ships.
When I say I’m 30, Single, No children, people in my culture would be happy because I should be focusing on my career and not looking for a distraction. NOW IF I say that to an outsider from my culture they are quick to say what’s wrong with you side eyeing me...👀.?? I have to explain that I’m making sure I have my financial and my education in order before I even think of a boyfriend or children.
I didn’t tell my parents I had a boyfriend until I was 27yrs or so. I’ve always had to sneak or announce them as a friend rather then boyfriend. And I still shit bricks when I have step up as a woman; and stand by the guy I’m with and properly introduce them as a boyfriend. Which I’ve only done twice in my life. (Sidebar they were both jerks😛☝🏾🧐... )
I have old school values in bedded in me. I can’t seem to shake my old school values, roots and moral just to get with the innovative time of technology.
PEOPLE SLEEP WITH PEOPLE TO FAST and are having children at a rate of 5:4. Out of a group of 5 woman 4 of them have children and their is that 1 that is the single no child having ass friend lmao 😂 which is me 🙋🏽♀️lol. The rate to men 1:15 so for everyone one male their is 15 woman for him.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 161 million females in the U.S. in 2013 versus 156.1 million males, or about a ratio of 1-to-1. That ratio shifts dramatically when looking at older populations, however: at age 85 and older, women outnumber men by a ratio of 2-to-1 (4.0 million to 2.0 million).
Nationally, females make up 50.8 percent of the population, but that percentage varies across states.
( source information from Women Outnumber Men in All But Nine States
ByJennifer Burnett on http://knowledgecenter.csg.org/kc/content/women-outnumber-men-all-nine-states)
So I have to take the time out from my career and learn how to balance my time to date more and find out what makes me truly happy. Because if I have to lose self respect just to get attention I don’t want it. The pressure is real tho if I’m getting older that I should be working my way to getting married but finding a good upstanding loyal man in NY is like trying to take a train at rush hour; you will always catch the train but never get a seat. ( If u get my drift).
I don’t want someone to say the most ignorant line of them all; “well maybe your picking the wrong man”✋🏾 that’s not even the case. I’ve dated all types of guys out my race and in my race; I’ve DATED (not slept with... people can get that word confused ☝🤷🏽♀️) the educated type, the hood, the preppy, the narcissistic, the Geek, the jock, gold digger, Master manipulator, the heart of gold.
And what I’ve noticed is not a lot of men are mentally stable and or financially stable to even start in a direction of being remotely serious which end up in a failed-ship situation; majority of men all have an attention span of a horny 18 year old boy. Not all but the vast majority!.
One of these days I’m going to have to write a book of the different type of men that I’ve came across and pointing out red flags that could possibly lead to a failed-ship.