Fighting Challenges

I started writing this piece around 10 am this morning (it's past 4 pm) and I am still unsure about posting it without rewriting it due to this brawl between punching my keyboard or keeping my stale pride stuck between my teeth.

(Image is mine... Current weather :)

swallows hard...

If you read my work, you know that I love turning everything into prose or poetry. It's my thing... My signature. Sometimes though, life takes you by surprise and challenges rain down on you like rain would on the sea. These are things you can't vent out through stanzas.

I am in such a place.

I value privacy so deciding on what to share is quite hard and sometimes I also criticize myself if I feel like I am oversharing.

Steemit is helping me deal with that so here goes.

I am a struggling writer and poet. I went back to school last year almost two decades after life happened (longest drama ever). My entity is also on a journey of healing a soul I never thought anything or anyone would resuscitate. I am a miracle after years of domestic abuse. I am a mother.

Next month, I'll celebrate my tenth anniversary since any man laid a hand on me. It's powerful as it was when I finally comprehended that no one had any right to abuse me. Or long after I left when I understood that it wasn't my fault that I got abused. Usually he'd say it was, LOL!

It's a milestone that I can talk about it. That I have matured strength-wise in the way that I have. It was a burden for years. A long journey that entailed tears, insurmountable pain and considerable shame, sadly. I felt like it was my fault like I broke up my own family. But I didn't, I freed an early half-baked death! I am glad I can share it without feeling ashamed now :)

Next month is also the month I became a one-year-old Steemian. I am fully pledged to this community but I rarely get time to be here. Being an unstable single mum (I live with my youngest son... another long drama) and handling school at thirty-four doesn't necessarily leave you with enough fucking time in your hands.

Sometimes I think about quitting my daily struggles and stick to Steemit alone and maybe... just maybe... I'll make something better and make more contributions here and my being here often will boost me up and financially help me through school and my personal responsibilities BUT then I see fellow Steemians who are struggling to do the same and think, how the fuck will I be any different? And what the hell am I gonna feed my little man with till it happens and... I decide, no way!

April was a rough month, I was sick for three weeks and for a struggling person, it was hard. I have had it rough so I am okay.

But... My little girl turns 13 next Tuesday (May 29th) but because she is in school, I can only see her on Sunday 27th. I am worried about failing her. It's a huge deal, for the both of us :)

What am I trying to say? We all have things we go through in silence. Things that we are sometimes forced to talk about... required to talk about but we don't. Maybe, that's where healing starts or solutions lie. Maybe this kind of sharing will hasten my healing and polish my writing.

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Recent Posts :)

Poetry... Reborn.

Thank you for listening and coming by :)