Having raised five kids without always having the self awareness (and rarely having any decent resources for the first decade), I can relate to so much of this. As I learned better, I did better about talking with them and being honest, but I know that I've made plenty of mistakes... whilst at the same time I know that I broke a LOT of dysfunctional cycles and habits that are pretty ingrained in my family dynamic, and I'm happy about that.

My kids are mostly grown, but we're close, we still talk about everything and see each other often. I have anxiety sometimes when I remember a time of failing (or what felt like failing my kids) during especially hard trauma work that I had to deal with, but things like this post are wonderful for me.

It makes me see that talking through some of this stuff with my kids, being raw and honest with them, even though it might not have been the BEST choice... was actually the best choice for our family. I feel reassured, because I really respect how you write about these things, how you speak about them and how you deal with the day to day life of parenting through your own issues.

Thank you for sharing so much and being so real.