Five myths about the destructive relationship
How common assertions about love in any case can not be trusted
How can survive bad advice before someone says that he is bad? Many axioms seem logical at first glance, but fall apart as soon as you will reflect upon them.
What kind of "stickiness" rules generate the most damage? I personally know of five and would like to erase them out of all published books, and remove from the lexicon of ever practicing experts.
So, here are five myths about the relationship that should be forgotten:
Mif№1. Do not go to bed until you make peace
What, and will argue all night? Besides, who said that it is reasonable to discuss the serious and sensitive issues, when your heart is racing, and the ears of a smoke?
How would you have liked to finish an unpleasant conversation and correct the situation, you are almost doomed to worsen it, if you try to engage in dialogue in an emotionally unstable state.
Human emotions - like fire, which did not really put out: toss a little fuel to the fading embers and flaming hell around asunder. The best approach? Arrange to discuss the situation after 24 hours. You'll be much more calm and logical (you might even wonder why so hot yesterday).
Myth №2. People do not change
Me, even as. Perhaps they do not do it when you want to, but people are miraculously changed with time. Can stop playing, drink or smoke. They learn to control their anger. They find a way to express gratitude, to be more sensitive and rational.
Who said that it is reasonable to discuss serious topics when you are out of your ears smoke?
The problem with the belief that people do not change - it allows you to ignore the potential of your partner. Some begin to change when learning to say "I'm sorry." Other changes, abandoning the dangerous or unhealthy habits. Some may go through therapy and return to another person.
Do not hide behind this myth.
Myth number 3. With age, sex ceases to be important
One of the many reasons why sex is important throughout our lives - is that he is the source of love and intimacy hormones: oxytocin and dopamine. Sex brings, soothes and pleases - and you do not need to make such as somersaults, in 20-30 years to have a satisfying sex life in your 50, 60 or 70.
Even the act may be optional! Partners can satisfy each other's hands or mouth, and may even just restrict arms. So remember: a loss of sexual desire - optional consequence of aging.
Myth number 4. Men are less romantic than women
Men do not as romantic as women - they are more romantic! Tons of studies show that men say to women, "I love you" more often than they hear it back. They are also more likely to say compliments. Furthermore, husbands are much more likely to feel the lack of romance in relationships than his wife. Although men are less talented in choosing romantic gifts, they give them more than they receive.
Myth number 5. After the betrayal is no turning back
Another unfounded myth. Many couples are going through difficult times, but to cope with them, and find the strength to make peace.
I know that it is difficult (and it may seem unfair to the offended party), but the partners must be willing to work hard: to understand their feelings and understand what role each of them played in the conflict or change. For the one who changed, it means to keep his disgust or revenge long enough to understand, what demons fighting partner - or what he or she runs.
Given the trust on which you first built their relationship, there is always a chance that after the incident of infidelity your pair will only get stronger. No matter how painful it was no betrayal, eventually it will recede into the background, if a person who has violated the rules, deeply sorry about this - and if the couple is looking for (and finding) a new way to express love for each other and protect your marriage.