Realize that you were asexual
I never was interested in romance or sex stuff. Relationships remained a mystery to me. Kids got crushes all the time wjhile I could not understood that feeling. I tried to force myself to “like” someone but it didn’t work. From early on, I knew I was different in that regard.
Middle school time, my classmates started dating. I just wasn’t interested. I did my own thing and lived my life. In sex ed, I understood how sex worked and was grossed out (to be fair, my teacher showed an extremely graphic video that traumatized my entire class but I digress). I remember thinking “that’s sex? People do that for baby-making AND fun? How is that fun?”
Then came high school. I still wasn’t interested. By then I got a lot of bullying from my classmates because of it. At first there were rumors how I was gay, then turned into how I was undesirable, eventually becoming stupid things that were obscene & way off the mark.
I hated that. I tried to “like” someone and still felt nothing. My friends tried to be match-makers but nothing worked out. At first I wondered if I was gay because I wasn’t compatible with any guys. So I tried to look at other women and evaluate myself. Nope. I didn’t like women either. I thought something had to “turn me on” but I never felt sexually aroused before. There was nothing.
I was panicking and wondering if something was wrong with me. Did I have some sort of disease or physical abnormality? I wanted to ask someone. Who could I ask? My friends didn’t get it nor did my family. My doctor said “You’re just a late bloomer” when I mentioned I wasn’t interested in dating. No books in my school or public library helped.
I got desperate and did some internet searches. There had to be SOMETHING out there to explain this. I scrolled through numerous links when a word caught my eye.
Asexual
My biology teacher was going through the chapter on how some plants & animals produce through asexual methods. What was that word doing in a search like this? I clicked on it. It took me to the official asexual website. I read through the information page as well as the forum topics. Everything felt familiar. I kept thinking “that’s me” when reading through articles. That’s when it hit me.
I was asexual.
That was the only explanation for everything. And I felt better. I wasn’t broken or insane; I was just a little different than the norm. It’s ok to be asexual.
So long story short, I think I knew from early on that I wasn’t a sexual person. I just didn’t know what it associated with until high school.
You look like the lady from HGTV that remodels homes with her.husband. very beautiful. If your not sexual then your not sexual. That doesn't mean you don't feel and receive and give love. There's other forms of live besides sex and people tend to overlook that aspect. We especially in America are obsessed with sex. When in fact, sex is just merely one part of a loving relationship, it doesn't have to be the biggest part for that relationship to work. Asexual doesn't mean you won't find a partner, remember all those fungi and sponges were dancing in the water next to other sponges so they had community and a feeling of establishment within their environment. Whatever you want to identify as I saw do it but yet remain open minded to true love because it's out there for everyone.
Right