I Concede Everything To You, You Concede Nothing To Me. (Part 11)

Karen said she's selling the pub because the owner of the unit wanted to sell it off. So I told Karen why Dont you buy it instead? Karen said she can't the owner ask for 1million. That's expensive.

I was sad because one I'm losing my job, second I can't see Karen as much because without the pub she can't go out late nights anymore, third I Dont know where to work.

After few days of not working I got a call in another pub they said someone recommended me to work with them I said who? They said Karen, she told us when you take care of an outlet you take care of it like it's yours, so we need people like you, aggressive and fair.

I said thank you sure when can I start? They told me to come tomorrow. After i sign the agreement started work right away. The work is fine its just the same all over again I got kinda bored at it. Also Karen change.

It feels like Karen turning into my ex wife, I told Karen about my ex wife and how things change the moment we got married, and also I told Karen that she is becoming like that and it scares me.
She didn't believe it, and ignore what i said.

But I have to deal with the same cycle all over again she slowly stop touching me, kissing me, and so on exactly the same. I told myself I can't handle the same cycle anymore I almost lose my mind the last time.

Now I'm going into depression because Karen doesn't show the same love we used to have, feels like she's avoiding me but I guess she's bored of me. Same cycle all over again. I went to the hospital because I couldn't sleep for three days straight. I sleep once every two or three days I got worried about my health.

I only went to the hospital because the day before i went to the hospital i was suppose to sleep that night, i couldn't sleep for almost 3 days. They said after 3 days of being awake your body automatically shut down and faint, i guess they are right.

The third day without sleep i was in bed alone it was dark. i tried to sleep but my mind can't stop thinking and my depression was getting so bad. I felt warm in my left chest. I just ignored and close my eyes.

My mind is busy and i was rolling around the bed finally i just open my eyes i saw a woman in white robe, long sharp teeth, with long black hair, long nails and no eyes just stares at me while she crawl slowly towards me. I was so afraid i had goosebumps all over my body. I'm too afraid to move.

I told myself this is not real just close your eyes please close your eyes its not real shit just stop. I tried to shout it feels like something or someone is closing my mouth with their hands. I can't even move or close my eyes. I was thinking i just need sleep just need to sleep please let me sleep.

The woman is crawling closer to me, she reach out her hands to touch my face. I use all my energy to shout, scream, move and finally i started moving and stood up. I ran out the room and went out of my apartment i ran for awhile and called my brother.

I told my brother i need help. I can't sleep for almost 3 days and im too depress. Also i start seeing things i think its just an illusion i just need to sleep. He told me to wait he will come over.

He came and he slept on the couch, and i think i fainted on the floor because i can't remember how i slept. The next day we went to the hospital and ask for help. They gave me this weird pills but i didn't want to question im just so tired and i Dont care i just want to sleep.

After work i took the sleeping pills it was crazy it was better than weed. It feels like you're in a dream, you feel afloat somehow, its almost impossible to describe it. But to me it was the best drug i ever took in my life.

Finally im asleep. I never slept so easy in my life. My whole life sleep is the only thing that i struggle with on a daily basis. It really can make you go mad. But i notice whenever i take the pills i Dont dream anymore. I really miss dreaming suddenly. My depression is even worse without it. I was thinking maybe human need dreams to stay sane.

Dreams are the only time when you're away from the harsh reality of life. The unfairness and the ugliness of life. Dream is the only time your mind is free to explore what you always desire. A special place just for you and you only. No one else can touch it. No one else can smell it. It's almost heaven.

(To Be Continued)

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