Why You Must Stop Criticizing and Pointing Fingers at Others and Let People Be
‘Look at her, she is just showing off her skin in that sleazy bikini.’ ‘Did you hear about that gold-digger marrying a man 20 years older than her, she’s just after his money!’ ‘I think you’re making a big mistake pursuing this career.’ These are only a few examples of the things we hear being said to others or at times say ourselves to the people around us. This act of criticizing and belittling others and pointing fingers at others needs to stop. Why? Because nobody is perfect and neither are you and by blaming others, belittling them and pointing fingers at their code of life, you’re doing nothing but making things difficult for them and even for yourself in return.
Everyone Has the Right to Live Life the Way they Want
Luckily, we have been born free and this freedom also gives us the right to think the way we want, believe in things we feel are right and live our lives the way we find best. Since we are living our lives the way we want, it is only natural and right that others live their lives the way the desire to as well. By pointing fingers at others and criticizing their code of life, we are depriving them of their right to live freely.
The other day I came across a blogger on steemit who has an open relationship with her husband. While I am not a believer of the concept and don’t practice it, I don’t think I have the right to say her code of living is wrong. In fact, I admired her courage and strength to be open about what she believes in and how she lives her life. I think it takes a great amount of courage to sincerely advocate what you believe in and her honesty inspired me to speak honestly about the way I live too. Kudos to you @eatpraysex
I have seen and met many people in life who leave no chance of criticizing others and rejecting their way of life. My aunt is quite religious and while I agree with many of her beliefs, I don’t appreciate it when she says ‘She is not a nice girl’ to anyone who wears miniskirts or backless dresses. The way someone lives or dresses or eats or does anything in no way defines who they are and you in no way have the right to label them as good or bad.
If we stop pointing fingers at others, label them as bad and negative and just let them be the way they are, we’ll make this world a much better and happier place to live in. because when we’ll stop doing that, we’ll put an end to many conflicts and start respecting the ideals, beliefs and opinions of everyone around us.
We need to be more open to the ideologies and viewpoints of those around us and embrace them happily. If we start doing that, we’ll soon melt the hearts of many rigid ones around us and encourage them to be more respectful of our opinions too.
What Goes Around Comes Around
Not only is respecting the wishes of others important for the overall peace and happiness of the society but doing this also ensures that others are nice to you as well. If you are mean to others, leave no opportunity to say crappy things to others and suffocate others, you’re going to experience the same behavior at the hands of others around you. That person whom you’re targeting may not be mean to you but the world is full of nasty people and you may come across someone who may give you the taste of your own medicine.
If you spread negativity around you, you’re likely to get it in return as well. So if someone around you live a certain way, behaves a certain way, dresses in a certain manner and believes in certain things, he is not a BAD person at all and you have no right to put any labels on him. Just be accepting of him so that others can be more accepting of you.
Focus on Yourself
Often when point fingers at someone or criticize someone for doing something wrong, we are actually shifting our focus from ourselves to them. deep down, we are either unhappy with our own self or know we’re doing something wrong but don’t want to take the blame for it. By pointing finger at someone, we indirectly lift that pressure off ourselves and assuage our guilt that there’s someone who’s doing something wrong too.
If we stop blaming others and let others be the way they are, we’ll get more time to focus on ourselves and make some positive improvement in our lives. Your focus should only lie on improving yourself because if you start doing that, you’ll consequently start improving the world around you too.
‘The reason your life stays the same is because you think everyone else is the problem.Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on others.Your life can only change to the degree you accept responsibility the responsibility for it.’- Dr. Steve Maraboli
I wasn’t as open and accepting as I am now a few years back and since the time I have brought this positive change in my personality, it has helped me gain better perspective of things, interact better with people and learn from different experiences. I encourage you to do the same too.
I thank you for visiting this post and spending time on it and request you to upvote it and follow me for more interesting stuff. Lots of love and good thoughts going your way.
Another great post. I have been told by a coach I used to have (a tony robbins coach - I know you look up to tony) that instead of pointing the finger out, we must point it in. He was not the only place I heard that but he was the most often pushing that. Keep up the awesome work.
Pointing in the finger--ahh, nice advice! A good way to look at the topic and thanks so much for the appreciation. I'm all about self-improvement and growth so u'll get to see lots of such stuff on my blog :) Hope u like the future posts too
Nice post. I might add that blaming yourself or pointing the finger in, doesn't always feel good or work out either. If you have enough confidence this can work, but some people can end up feeling very badly and become apathetic or depressed.
So many things are interrelated that finding the root cause of something and labeling it with 'blame' is difficult and feels a bit pointless to me. Although it can be nice to be aware of some of the causes of things so that difficult consequences might be avoided better in the future.
But focusing more on yourself is a good way to be so long as you can at least in part realize the nature of all that you are imho.
I agree with you and I never said finding the root cause and labeling it with blame should be the way to do stuff. I'm a big believer in accepting your mistakes and talking positively and nicely to yourself so you never lower your self-esteem. By pointing the finger in, I just meant to focus on how to improve yourself and not just blame others. My latest post is on why you must talk nicely to yourself so you never devalue who you are and become depressed. Do go through that. I hope you like it :)
Thanks, just trying to clarify a bit. I kind of figured that was what you were saying. There's a lot of historical information around needing to repent our sinful nature and so pointing the finger in can be confusing. ;)
I get your point and love having conversations with like-minded people :)
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