Wow. This is a really powerful post. I had an experience like that as a child too, that I recognize as playing a major role in my shyness as an adult. I acted inappropriately one day, and all of my friends deserted me and would not speak to me for an school entire year. I have revisited the memory a few times and forgiven myself for not being able to behave better at the time, and my friends for having no way of understanding the pain that motivated what I did. But I think the forgiveness you give yourself here is much more complete and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm going to save this post to re-read several times. I'm all teary eyed now, but in a good way. :-)