Surviving Crumbling Relationships
Pain
Your external world is a reflection of your internal world. So, if you are struggling in your relationships with others, it’s time to look at the relationship you have with yourself. Now is the time to be alone with yourself and do some introspection. By doing this, you can find healing from within and gain understanding of your current situations. You can heal your relationships by first healing yourself. Sit with your emotions and ask yourself, “What is this pain trying to tell me?”
Observation
If you become the observer, it’s much easier. You don’t have to let the pain become personal. You can watch it from the outside, as an objective spectator and see what it is teaching you. Every experience has a purpose. That purpose is always the same. Growth.
Look for patterns in your experiences. Do you seem to be repeating the same lessons? From a detached and nonjudgmental perspective, you can discover quite a bit about yourself. Whatever you are feeling, keep asking your feelings what they need. Go deeper and deeper until you reach the root of your feelings. Ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?”
When you reach back far enough, you might see that everything that is happening is related to some early trauma that was never healed. See your childhood self in that first experience. Talk to your child self by validating your feelings and asking what you need. Maybe your child self just needs to be understood. So, be there for yourself. Make a bridge from your current self to your child self. Hold your child and love it unconditionally. Make a commitment to always be there for yourself. When the child is healed, the adult self becomes stronger. If you want to understand this process more, I recommend reading "The Completion Process" by Teal Swan.
Now take a moment to look at your current situation. Maybe you feel too weak to face the challenges of life alone, so you’ve been depending on others to support you without growing into your full potential. Maybe you’ve been looking to others for love without realizing that you are love. Maybe you have been focusing all your energy on pleasing others and forgetting to nurture yourself. Maybe life is teaching you that you can find everything you need within yourself.
Practice
You can learn by reading or listening to others, but if you really want to understand something, you can be sure that life will provide you with experiences to match. It’s easier to face challenges when you see it as an opportunity to practice what you have learned.
It’s like strengthening your spiritual muscle by exercising each day. It’s not enough to know how to do the exercises. You have to practice them daily to experience true growth. You could consider your most challenging times to be a sort of spiritual boot camp. If you see them as torture or punishment, they will defeat you. But if you see them as opportunities to strengthen you, you’ll be able to face them with focused intent.
Reflection
Experiences are not about punishment. They only come to show us what we need to see in order to go to the next level of understanding. If we fail to see, we repeat the pattern again and again. By withdrawing and listening to your inner voice, you can learn from this and spare yourself the pain of living it repeatedly.
The best part of this growing process is that if you can overcome your toughest times, then you’ll become stronger for it and be able to walk others through it too. Not everything can be taught by words. Experience, mistakes, are often our greatest teachers.
And so, it’s important to take some time with yourself each day. Allow yourself time to reflect on your life, your emotions and your relationships. Honor your feelings by allowing them to flow and accepting them without judgment. Nurture yourself like you would your child self.
It is common for people in pain to close their heart. For some reason they think that closing is protective. But, closing your heart can be the most painful and destructive thing you can do. It cuts you off from your life force. That is not the answer to pain. The answer is acceptance.
Acceptance
The key of acceptance is powerful!
By accepting everything in the present moment, you let go of the resistance which is bringing you pain. You will feel a sense of relief as soon as you accept yourself and everything in your life. Take time to fully and unconditionally accept yourself and your feelings. Next, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Where would I love to go from here?” This changes your thoughts from destructive to empowering.
Renewal
Everything can change in the blink of an eye by changing the focus of your thoughts. So pay attention to them. If you wish to renew your relationships, begin by renewing yourself. Choose to follow your most positive thoughts and find joy in your experiences. Most importantly, be kind to yourself in your difficult times. Self-love and acceptance can get you through anything. When you nurture yourself, you become stronger within and are better able to help others. You’ll have the love and strength to heal your relationships. Remember that you direct the course of your life. So make it beautiful!
Gratitude
By now, you can see that everything that has happened has been for your benefit and growth. If you see it from a higher perspective, you might even see how others played a role in bringing you to this new level of awareness. Take time to appreciate everything and everyone in your life. Embrace yourself and remember that you are a divine being, having a human experience. Be grateful for each experience and above all, love without limits!
Love and light,
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Very beautifully articulated post with valuable advice here. ☺ Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom and experience with us! ✨