Perfectionist's "sense of losing."

I heard that perfectionists always feel they are "losing".
I thought to myself, "That's exactly right.
When I think more concretely about "losing," I wonder if I am "in the process of losing" or "in the process of continuing to lose.
Does the fear that I am "losing" ignite when someone else appears in front of me?
After the other person leaves, am I confirmed that I am still "losing"?

I feel defeated when I am not superior to the other person. I want to be superior in everything.
Why do I devote myself to being superior without a break?

I remember my father's spell.
It's natural," "It's natural to be able to do that well," "So you should keep working harder".
Even though I gave it my all, he didn't approve.
I thought that this time, when I got a good grade, which was rare, my father would recognize me.

I don't know if it was because I was still embedded in my parents' perception that I was lower than them, that I was inferior to them, or if I felt defeated because of their constant domination of me.

My dad's anger at not being superior to others at any given moment is laying down his reign to immediately neutralize me if I bring him a report of my victory.