Continuous Self-Improvement... and Why it Matters

Most people are familiar with the term "self-improvement," and it's a good bet that many who read these words have done it in one form, or another.

And yet? This simple term means very different things to different people.

A term with many meanings

It is not surprising, since there is a wide range of aspects of ourselves we can "improve:" Our bodies, our skills, our minds, our spirits, our souls, our psyche and so on.

Although generally positive, some folks are biased against it, dismissing self-improvement as "New Age woo-woo," but that's ultimately doing yourself a great disservice. And it can be outright ironic when such criticisms come from people who go to the gym, every day. What exactly do they thing they are DOING??

Anyway, there's a good reason why there are thousands and thousands of self-development books at your local bookstore... and a good reason why you can find thousands of seminars and workshops on every topic from "How to Find Inner Peace Through Meditation" to "Becoming the World's Greatest Sales Person."

Why Bother to "Improve?" Aren't we already "Good enough?"

Some nay-sayers will insist that they are already "good enough" and that self-improvement is just marketing trying to rip people off for books and workshop fees; then they will go on to split semantic hairs by insisting that their daily run or workout routine constitutes "practice" rather than "self-improvement."

Which is fine by me... but let's take a closer look:

At its core, the notion of self-improvement seems driven by an inner desire to become the best version of "us" we can be. Although some will insist they are working on themselves in order to "better compete with others," most of the time it truly IS a "self" motivated process. In other words, it's something we do for ourselves... more than for others.

People who embark on self-improvement, self-development and self-help projects typically start because they had a moment of self-AWAREness... for many it's the moment in which we discover that we have a desire to "be" something... but the reality of who we are-- in that moment-- falls short of what we envision ourselves being. And so, improvement is needed.

In my own case, I already had a growing interest in psychology and wanted to understand myself better. Like many, I was an awkward kid in high school, but I was fairly at peace with myself. So I also wanted to understand the underlying mindset of those I perceived to be the "popular kids" and the minds of those who seemed to blindly follow those popular kids around, without question.

Making Real and Lasting Changes can be Difficult!

Improving ourselves, of course, means changing ourselves in some way.

It sounds easy enough, but it's often harder than we think... our minds and bodies get pretty used to doing things "a certain way," so we encounter resistance when we do things differently. Most who've tried to quite smoking, or go on a workout and diet plan, know what I'm talking about!

And not everybody is comfortable with change. Ass I said, it's easy for us to fall into patterns we become very used to... like a pair of old shoes that feel really good to wear, even though they don't do the job well because they are torn and have a couple of holes in the soles that let in water and irritating small rocks when we walk. But somehow, it "disturbs" our sense of well-being and equilibrium to strike out in a new-- and largely unknown, even if promising-- direction.

Spiritual or psychological changes can be very "sneaky." Surprisingly sneaky, even!

For example, even though I claim to "always" have been a writer, I was never a very disciplined writer, for the fist 40 years of my life. When I finally made a commitment to sit down and write every morning, it took me almost 18 months (and several "false starts!") before it became a true habit.

Why Self-Improvement MATTERS!

"It's just too much work... I can just practice a bit whenever I feel like it... why bother?"

It's a valid enough question. And there's no shortage of people who give up when they discover that making real and lasting changes in their lives can actually be hard work.

I can only offer my personal perspective and experiences, in response to the "why bother?" question.

As I see it, if we don't strive for continuous self-improvement, we risk falling into those "stale" old patterns... and it can easily lead to our sort of "sleep walking" or "living in a trance" in our own lives... in which we just keep going and going (like the Energizer Bunny), without ever pausing to question why we are always doing something that doesn't feel good.

Maybe we are in a lousy job but make the excuse "well, work isn't SUPPOSED to be fun." Maybe we are in a toxic relationship that's hurting us, but make the excuse "relationships always take a lot of WORK." Maybe we feel out of step with our church, but make the excuse "but my family has ALWAYS gone to that church." Somehow, we understand that the best thing for us would be to change something, but we become exceptionally skilled at creating excuses and rationalizations.

Yes, Change Asks us to be Courageous!

It takes courage to question our patterns... and even more courage to be objective and realize that we-- not "other people"-- are often the ones mostmost responsible for our sense of stuck-ness, or out toxic patterns... and the subsequent need for change.

Often, the moment of realization comes when we suddenly become aware-- and accept-- that nobody's holding a gun to our heads, making us stay in that crappy job or relationship.

And therein lies an important truth: self-improvement is often about having awareness of our own quirks, weaknesses and the "excuses" we make in order to avoid looking at them, so we can keep them-- however uncomfortable. This is why it is often referred to as an "awakening" when people suddenly realize they need to make major changes in their lives.

So take a moment or two to pause and "take inventory" of your personal world... look at your patterns of saying "I really should...." or "I wish I could... if only..." What is-- functionally speaking-- stopping you? Why?

How about YOU? How do you feel about self-improvement? Do you find yourself stuck in patterns that don't serve you? What are some major changes you have made in your life? Was it difficult, or easy? Did you succeed, or are you still "working on it?" Do you have any specific "moments of insight" or "awakening" you'd like to share? Please share your experience-- leave a comment and start the dialogue!

(As always, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)