Credit: Kaique Rocha

Many times in my past, I've struggled with the regret and shame that sprouts from perceived mistakes.

I've since learned that the biggest problem is not the mistake but the self image we create based on these experiences.

If you are ashamed by something you did, you need to own your mistake. You need to be unapologetic. You need to lose the shame. You need to view yourself as an owner, not a victim. This requires altering your self-image.

Self image is fixed in two ways:

1. By living and acting boldly despite what you did

Hold your head high, and be open about your mistake rather than avoidant and guilty.

Positive action - even if you don’t feel like it - will mould how you think of yourself. Talk to people about it and accept that you made a mistake.

Openly speaking about the issue is a powerful way of detaching the shame associated with it - you are bringing light into the darkness.

See the mistake also as an important lesson for you - one that has improved your life - a blessing in disguise.

You will feel the shame start to flow away when you start getting open and realistic about your ‘mistake.’

2. By visualising yourself regularly as a successful, happy person.

This has helped me immeasurably with daily 30 minute meditations on my own healthy self image, being, feeling and acting confident by seeing it in my mind’s eye and holding it there.

Read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz - this book is a classic mostly about changing your self image, and will change your life if you follow it.

Bonus: Realise that you are not your mistakes.

Good luck!

Read more of my writing on by self-improvement blog: Red Lemon Club.