SELENA AND JUSTIN ARE BACKKK!!!!!!!

Oh my god, you will never believe what I heard. Well, so, Riley heard from Ashlyn who heard from Devin—no, gay Devin—who heard from Us Weekly that Selena Gomez was totally wearing Justin Bieber’s hockey jersey at his game the other day. Which is totally a sign that they’re dating.

I know that, like, it’s been really weird for them lately and that Selena was dating The Weeknd for a while or whatever. But they broke up and he, like, unfollowed her whole family on Instagram or something, so they are totally done. The Weeknd is over. And anyway, it was never like Selena and Justin were ever really not into each other. Yeah, they, like, got in some fights and stuff, but they’ve always secretly been, like, practically married.

Lately they’ve been, like, getting breakfast and riding bikes and going to church and running away from an alleged gang member after church together. They’re sooooo a couple again. And now that Selena like straight up wore Justin’s hockey jersey to his little hockey game or whatever—he’s not on varsity; it’s some weird league he plays with outside of school—that pretty much makes it official. They are completely hooking up again and are probably, like, in love.

Which, I dunno. Feels kinda good, weirdly? Like obviously who cares who Selena and Justin are dating, but they were together for so long and they’re like just who you think about when you think about, like, A Couple. So there’s something just kind of comforting about knowing that they’re back together because isn’t that, like, how the universe is supposed to be maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I am a total freak. And again, I totally don’t care who is dating anyone, obviously, but I just kinda felt good when I heard that Selena wore that jersey to the hockey game. Because it’s just like, O.K, cool, one less dumb thing to worry about, y’know? Like there is so much shit going on, and not just at school or whatever. So yeah. It’s good that there’s at least one thing that makes sense.