I am very sorry for your loss I do send my condolences to you and your family. Where do I start? We never know when ourselves or someone we love close to us will leave this earth. With that being said, please realize that we are on borrowed time, and eventually we will all have to pay that time back. I have learned through loss, to always tell anyone close to you, and always show them that you love them for that very reason.

Innocent people suffer for other peoples actions all of the time. Now, I am not saying anything directly related to you, I am just speaking on what I know in this type of situation. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes we just don't have the answer to the why part of the matter. You and him were married, so the terms of your marriage bed were agreed upon by the both of you.

I know you probably are tired of hearing this, but you have to forgive yourself. When our time comes to depart from the physical, we are no longer in death's shadow. Learning to live with regrets is difficult, positivity is definitely what and who you need to be around. I think once you and your son can accept that, then you may look at this situation differently as have I.