Best ways to kill yourself in Seattle (if you don't have any money) ...
On one level, I really don't want to kill myself - though, as an anarchist and existentialist, I think it's the right of every person to make this choice. I have no wife, no kids, no life, I'm massively in debt, broke, unemployed, and almost 50 years old - there is no heli-skiing future ahead of me, best case scenario is WALMART greeter or living in a tent city. I know, truly wonderful options.
Please - feel free to ridicule and mock me, this simply helps me to decide, especially if you're H1B VISA enabled douchebag and work at Microsoft or Google.
Definitely don't feel sorry for me: you are responsible for your own life as I am for mine. I made choices that pushed me to the edge. My story is not a tragedy.
Finally - despite all the "everything is awesome" propaganda, anyone with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to think, can tell that this country is turning to shit. And no ... it's not about "Trump" ... Blaming Trump for this would be giving him far too much credit. Blaming "Trump" would be akin to blaming beer and pretzels for the rise of Hitler.
If I did kill myself, I would simply be "ahead of the curve" - a nice place to be, avant garde in several respects. But I don't see much worthwhile, in my future or yours, that I would be missing out on.
Top 7 ways, I can think of:
1 - The bridge on 15th AVE: During brief moments of negligible optimism, during the last few weeks, I've been taking walks, exercising, by walking the "rectangle" in the Maple Leaf neighborhood of Seattle (this would be walking/jogging down 15th AVE then walking/jogging back home up Roosevelt Way). While walking/jogging down 15th AVE I noticed a bridge, with a nice drop - and none of those pesky suicide prevention nets or fences. There seem to be load bearing anchor points, on the short wall, on both sides. So, although I'm not 100% certain the drop would kill you - some rope, or extension cord, would make a nice noose, and guarantee the outcome (if you can tie a good knot). I think the best option would be extension cord, heavy duty, which you can find almost anywhere. You'll want to do it between 2-4 AM, on Sunday - during this time it will be unlikely you will be interrupted.
2 - Box cutters: This is a classic, though the resources online are unclear as to how "easy" it is to slit your own wrists (or jugular, if you have the gusto for it). I like this idea, because you can pair it with a nice bottle of stolen pinot noir or a pint of stolen whiskey, has a nice emotional patina or Jean Paul Sartre "feel" to it. But, if you really have no cash, and only a box cutter? - cut away ...
3 - Drowning off of Golden Gardens: I have some Swedish blood, I think, in me. It seems in line with my genetics that drowning in cold water is a truly great fit. Just go down to the open beaches, make sure it's during a time when there are likely to be very few spectators (this, again, would be between 2-4 AM on a Sunday morning). The U.S. Coast Guard has their 50/50 rule - 50 meters from shore (or feet), 50% chance of survival ... I think. The temperature in the Puget Sound is cold enough that you should go into hypothermia and shock within a few minutes. If you are of Nordic heritage? - then it also falls inline, as stated above, with certain cultural norms.
4 - Jumping into fast moving traffic from one of the I-5 overpasses: This might not be reliable, but I mention it because it does present a challenge. You don't want to do this during a traffic jam - you will, at best, break your back. You want to do this during a time of day when there's traffic, but the speed is closer to highway speed - 55-75 MPH. Also, timing it so you fall in front of a large truck is best, for lethal crushing injuries.
5 - Jumping in front of a Metro Bus (yes, the drivers are that incompetent): Since my car has been re-possessed, I've been riding the METRO, and on several occasions it has been clear that the drivers of these buses are only semi-conscious of what they're doing. That being said, as with number [4] above, this is a timing/coordination thing. If you don't time it, just right, you won't get nailed by the bus. I would consider this the least reliable, but the one with the most plausible deniability. If it doesn't work, and you just get scuffed up, you can say "hey, man, I'm sorry, I was playing Pokemon GO".
6 - Lunging in front of the Sound Transit train: Unlike buses and traffic, trains have to follow their track AND the rules of Newtonian mechanics - as such, just about any person can time their lunge so that the train crushes them to death. There are some real nice venues for this, several intermodal stations where you can take the bus, to the train. Of course, if you have no money, just walk to the train station (there's one near the UW I like).
7 - Pick a fight with a cop, wielding a knife (throw your voice and SHOUT - "hey, he's got a gun"): You need to pick the right cop, or cops. Don't pick some woman, unless she's a dyke (their hatred of men, if you're a guy like me, works in your favor here). Best choice would be one or two dudes, with obvious signs of "juicing", with shrunken cocks and dried out brains from the steroids. If you can throw your voice, or have a replica that looks like a gun, even better. If all you have is a knife, you need to move fast, act erratic, crazy - and make sure they don't taze you! However, given the patterns of behavior, they probably won't tase you if you put on the right show. They don't "shoot to wound" these days - they shoot to take you down, so this method, though not 100% reliable, has a certain powerful theatricality to it that appeals to almost anyone who has given up on humanity, and themselves.
==> Keep in mind, hundreds of thousands of Americans die in hospitals, every year, due to incompetence. So, even if you're only "mostly dead", your suicide attempt still might work out.
==> If you have no money, you have no insurance - that means the likelihood of an "accident" in a county hospital increases. "Oh, we're sorry, we gave him too much pain killer ..." (I worked in healthcare, I know how evil and crony this industry is)
==> And as the mental health "professionals" say: if you're talking about it, you probably won't do it ... nice sentiment, eh?