Save My Script!!! Children's animation. First draft --- all criticism welcom for rewrite!steemCreated with Sketch.

in #script7 years ago

Part 1:---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Draft 1 - script for children' animation)

Three Mice and a Pizza


THE HAWK - EXT. DALY STREET OUTSIDE - MORNING

           Bright rays of morning sunlight light the sky over Daly
           Street. Beautiful old trees and old houses are seen below. A
           large hawk is majestically soaring in circles in the warm air
           above. As the view of the hawk nears we see his cold
           intensity and power as he scans the ground far below for
           prey. Far below are three tiny dot like mice: Snidely (taller
           skinny bossy mouse), Orville (grossly overweight mouse)  and
           Tickle (tiny fur ball white mouse). The three mice are
           attempting to push an old hamburger container towards the
           house. A few scraps of food are inside the container which is
           labeled "Happy Burger". They are near an old Elizabethan
           style house with a large unique appearing oak tree and swing
           in the back yard. The hawk dives rapidly towards his prey. 

                               SNIDELY
                         (With purpose -in a gruff
                          voice)
                     Common guys! Just a few more
                     seconds and we'll be inside! Then
                     it will be time to feast!

                               ORVILLE
                         (Raspy voice)
                     I can hardly wait to eat!

                               TICKLE
                     (Squeaky)
                     We musta lugged this thing a whole
                     block!

           Suddenly the small shadow of a hawk passes over Snidely and
           he glances up with a start as the piercing shriek of the hawk
           rings out. Snidely's eyes widen in fear.

                               SNIDELY
                         (Panicked)
                     Run for your lives guys! It's our
                     worst nightmare!

           Snidely and Tickle race towards a large crack in the nearby
           house foundation. Orville frantically tries to push the
           hamburger container towards the house. Snidely and Tickle
           reach the opening on the side of the house and turn back to
           shout encouragement to Orville

                               SNIDELY AND TICKLE
                         (Shouting)
                     Run, Orville, Run!

                               ORVILLE
                         (Still pushing the
                          hamburger container as
                          fast as he can)
                     Just a few more seconds and we can
                     have lunch!!

           The shriek of the hawk rings out.

                               SNIDELY
                         (Screaming)
                     Just a few more seconds and you
                     will be lunch!!

                               ORVILLE
                         (Still pushing the
                          container)
                     Just a few more seconds...

                               SNIDELY
                         (Alarmed)
                     No Orville! Run!

           The shriek of the hawk rings out nearby.

                               TICKLE
                         (Screaming while backing
                          inside the hole)
                     Orville!

                               SNIDELY
                         (Also screaming while
                          backing inside the hole)
                     Orville!

           The shriek of the hawk rings out. From the viewpoint inside
           the hole Orville is seen only a few inches away on the
           outside. Suddenly massive talons close shut on Orville and he
           is gone.

                               SNIDELY (CONT'D)
                         (Screaming in despair)
                     Orville! Oh no Orville!

                                                   CUT TO:

                                (CONT'D)



           WHAT'S FOR LUNCH? - INT. JANSEN HOME MOUSE HOLE - KITCHEN -
           MORNING

           Snidely awakens from his dream in a start and sits up on his
           bed (a pincushion). 

                               SNIDELY
                         (Still half asleep -
                          frantically shouting)
                     Orville! Orville!

           Orville is startled awake by Snidely's shouting and rolls off
           his matchbox bed landing roughly on the mouse hole floor.
           They are inside their mouse hole in the corner of the Jansen
           kitchen. 

                               ORVILLE
                         (Groggy)
                     Snidely! What's going on?!!

                               SNIDELY
                         (More awake)
                     Orville! You are all right! Where
                     is Tickle?!

                               TICKLE
                         (Groggily poking his head
                          out of the steel thimble
                          he has been sleeping in.)
                     Over here Snidely.

                               SNIDELY
                         (Relieved)
                     I guess I was just having a
                     nightmare...

           Rays of morning sunshine begin to beam through the mouse
           hole.

                               SNIDELY (CONT'D)
                         (More focused and bossy)
                     All right! Everybody up! It's
                     Thursday morning now and we got a
                     lot to think about.

                               TICKLE
                         (In wonder)
                     We do??!

                               ORVILLE
                         (Skeptical and Confused)
                     Are you sure??

                               SNIDELY
                     Darn right...I'm thinking about
                     food, and how we are going to get
                     it.

                               ORVILLE
                         (Eyes glazing over
                          lovingly)
                     Fooood!

                               TICKLE
                         (In ancipation)
                     Are we gonna raid the garbage can
                     again??

                               SNIDELY
                     Not even close, Tickle. You gotta
                     think big. And I'm thinking big.

                               TICKLE
                         (Eyes widen)
                     Big? But you're only 4 inches
                     tall!?

                               SNIDELY
                         (Paces back and forth
                          acting out the characters
                          in his story)
                     Never mind! Every second Thursday
                     afternoon at precisely 4:00 PM
                     Davey comes home from his Boy
                     Scouts meeting. He always carries a
                     box half full of left over pizza
                     with him. Every time he does the
                     same thing. He heats up the box in
                     the microwave. He eats one piece
                     only. Then he shouts "Mom, I'm
                     home, I'm going upstairs to play
                     video games". Then he throws the
                     warm pizza box on the kitchen floor
                     and leaves.

           The three mice peer out of the opening of their hole in the
           corner of the kitchen.

                               TICKLE
                         (Sudden comprehension)
                     Ohhh! So that's when we raid the
                     garbage can!

                               SNIDELY
                         (Exasperated )
                     No Tickle... That's when we go for
                     the pizza!

                               ORVILLE
                         (Dreamily)
                     Pizza!!...Cheese..Pepporoni...Mush
                     oom...Anchovies.....

                               TICKLE
                     But...

                               ORVILLE
                         (cont'd)
                     Bacon ...Tomato Sauce..Dough Ball

                               TICKLE
                         (Worried. Pointing out the
                          mouse hole into the
                          kitchen)
                     But Snidely, You said Davey always
                     throws the pizza box way over
                     there!

           HE LOOKS TOWARD THE DISTANT AREA OF DISTANT KITCHEN FLOOR
           WHERE PIZZA WILL BE.

                               SNIDELY

           LOOKS TOWARD THE SAME SPOT
                     Yah. So?!

                               TICKLE

           HE LOOKS A LITTLE TO THE SIDE WHERE WELLINGTON SLEEPS (FAT
           ORANGE TABBY CAT)
                     It's so very far away!! And what
                     about Wellington?

           Wellington the cat is snoring soundly in his cat basket on
           the distant kitchen floor. He is overweight. His cat basket
           is labeled with gold adhesive letters spelling his name.

                                (CONT'D)

                               SNIDELY

           (Dismissive O.S.)
                     Wellington?!! Oh don't worry about
                     him. He couldn't catch a mouse if
                     his life depended on it. Unless you
                     run right into his mouth and shout
                     "swallow" you'll be fine.

           Wellington gulps in his sleep smiling.

                               TICKLE
                         (Worried)
                     I sure hope you're right!

                               ORVILLE
                         (cont'd dreamily)
                     ...Double cheese, crunchy crust,
                     green peppers, oregano

                               SNIDELY
                     Just look at that lazy cat sleep. I
                     wonder what he is dreaming about?



           WELLINGTON'S DREAM - INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE PARLOUR - MORNING

           Wellington, his hair coiffed and fluffy, is lying on his back
           comfortably perched on Queen Elizabeth's lap. The queen is
           obviously smitten by the animal and speaks as she gently
           feeds him "Royal Cat Treats" from a crystal jar.

                               QUEEN ELIZABETH
                     Philip, where on earth did we find
                     such a marvelous creature as this??

                               WELLINGTON
                         (Chuckles self
                          indulgently)
                     Oh Madame, you are too kind...

                               QUEEN ELIZABETH
                         (Feeds Wellington another
                          cat treat.)
                     Philip, ring the footmen and tell
                     them we will sell all of those
                     wretched Corgies at once. We need
                     to spend all of our time with this
                     delightful fellow.

           She loving pets Wellington and he purrs self indulgently.

                               PRINCE PHILLIP
                         (Voice O.S.)
                     Right away dear...

           BELL TINKLING. (REPEATS AND REPEATS)

                                                   CUT TO:



           WELLINGTON AWAKENS -INT. JANSEN HOME KITCHEN - MORNING

           Wellington, still lying half asleep in his cat basket opens
           one eye. a gentle summer breeze, blowing through the cat door
           is ringing the little gold cat bell around his neck. the bell
           appears to be shiny and new

                               WELLINGTON
                         (YAWNS)
                     That confounded bell...how i detest
                     that wretched contraption.

           Wellington gets up slowly and stretches with his bottom up
           and forearms forward. He walks through the cat door to the
           back yard patio.



           KAT Z - ARRIVES - EXT. JANSEN HOME SIDE ALLEY WAY - MORNING

           Wellington walks out into the sun lit backyard of the Jansen
           house. The garden is beautiful and butterflies and
           hummingbirds feed amongst the flowers near the oak tree and
           swing.

                               WELLINGTON
                         (Takes in a deep breath
                          and pompously
                          rhapsodizes)
                     Ah...The idyllic majesty of
                     nature's creations.

           The sound of a metal trash can cover falling to the ground
           gets Wellington's attention. He peers into the shadowy alley
           way beside the Jansen house. He sees a long row of steel
           garbage cans against the side of the house.

           SFX: INTRO BARS OF HIP HOP TUNE WITH BASE AND DRUM BEGIN.

           Suddenly Kat-z jumps up on the lid of the far garbage can.

           A beam of sunlight catches the gold of his bling chain collar
           and the reflection flashes the jazzy gold "K" tag on the
           bottom. His cool shaved hair-do epitomizes hip hop cool.

           He suddenly leaps to the next garbage can lid as the three
           sexy Kit-Z Kitties jump up to the garbage lid behind him.

           As they gradually jump forward along the garbage can lids
           they sing their hip hop tune:
                     ******Lyric**********:

                               KAT-Z
                     WHAT'S MY NAME!

                               KIT-Z KITTIES
                     KAT-Z!!!

                               KAT-Z
                     WHAT'S MY NAME!

                               KIT-Z KITTIES
                     KAT-Z!!

                               KAT-Z
                     WELL THE KITTIES IN THE HOOD
                     STARTED FEELING PRETTY GOOD WHEN
                     THE K-CAT COMES THEIR WAY. WELL IT
                     AIN'T CAT NIP GONNA LIVEN UP THEIR
                     TRIP SO THE TOM CATS TRIED TO PLAY.
                     SO A BIG OLD KITTY SINGS A DOG DO
                     DITTY BOUT CAT HOUSE IN LA. BUT THE
                     K AIN'T GROOVING AND HE JUST KEEPS
                     MOVING. AND THEN HE TURNS BACK TO
                     SAY...

           Kat-z's sharp shiny claws spring out as he sweeps his right
           forearm down in hip hop style to emphasize his lyric.

                               KAT-
                         (With harmony from Kit-Z
                          Kitties)
                     SCRATCH ONE!!!!

                               KAT-Z
                     WELL THE MICE START SCATTERING AND
                     BIRDS START CHATTERING WHEN KAT-Z
                     COMES TO TOWN. BUT TWO YOUNG PUPS
                     TRIED TO MIX IT UP, AND TAKE THE K
                     CAT DOWN. WELL THE FUR WAS FLYING
                     AND THE DOGS WERE CRYING WHEN THE K
                     CLAWS START TO DANCE. SO LONG PUPS,
                     CAUSE YOUR TIME IS UP AND YOU'LL
                     NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE...

           Kat-z's sharp shiny claws spring out again as he sweeps his
           right then left forearms down in hip hop style to emphasize
           his lyric.

                               KAT-Z (CONT'D)
                         (With harmony from Kit-Z
                          Kitties)
                     SCRATCH ONE!! SCRATCH TWO!!

                               KAT-Z (CONT'D)
                         (Singing alone as he
                          catapults off the last
                          garbage can lid to land
                          near Wellington)
                     SCRATCH ONE!! SCRATCH TWO!! SCRATCH
                     THREE!!

                               KIT-Z KITTIES
                     KAT-Z!!!
                     ********END LYRIC***************

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