Do Men and Women Experience Sex Differently?
As I look at these side-by-side pictures of Martha and Sigmund Freud, I wonder what their marriage must have been like. Some statements attributed to Sigmund suggest a deep misunderstanding of women. 1
The photos (above) of Freud and Bernays are in the public domain.
U. S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh finds himself at the center of a national debate--not about the law, but about sex. His nomination comes at a time when momentum has been gathering to deconstruct sexual harassment. Recent headlines suggest that confusion reigns, at least in the minds of some people, about what constitutes acceptable sexual behavior. Can science help to guide this debate?
If we look at polls, it seems that men and women2 do differ in their views of sexual harassment and even sexual assault. Results of these surveys are not consistent across cultures. What is consistent is that in most areas of consideration, men are less likely than women to judge a behavior as transgressive. A February 2018 study, at McGill University in Canada, may offer some insight into why this disparity between sexes persists. The key may reside in the brain. But before we go there, first we should come to an approximate understanding about some differences between male and female attitudes.
In both males and females, the amygdala shuts down during sexual activity. There are actually two amygdalae, as shown by the red dots on the rotating skull above. In the amygdala, caution and inhibition reside. When the amygdala shuts down, inhibition is diminished. This disinhibition is believed to facilitate sexual engagement. Image credit: Generated by Life Science Databases(LSDB) and used under a Creative Commons Share-Alike 2.1 Japan license.
In a 2001 report entitled, A Meta-Analytic Review of Gender Differences in Perceptions of Sexual Harrassmet, the authors analyzed results from a range of studies that looked at sexual harassment in the workplace. While the report is relatively old (17 years ago), the attitudes described suggest a foundation for current male/female relations. A few overall principles emerged from the analysis:
- For women, the behavior, and not the context in which it occurs, is the basis for judging whether or not an act is appropriate. Men believe that context makes a difference.
- Both men and women believe that hierarchy has bearing on whether or not a behavior is harassment. Men think that peer-to-peer interactions, even unwelcome contacts, are not harassment. Women see unwelcome behaviors from peers and authority figures as harassment. Adding more details about how or where the behavior occurred does not change the disparity in perception between men and women.
- A significant disparity exists between male and female attitudes toward sexual touching. Of women surveyed, 89% see this sort of contact as harassment, while only 59 % of men do. Men suggest such contact may be flattery, rather than harassment.
- There is more agreement (attitudes are more closely aligned) in perception between men and women when behaviors are extreme. "Ambiguous" behavior leads to greater disagreement in perception.
Brain imaging reveals that men and women have some similar neurological activity during sexual arousal. One area of the brain that lights up for both is the hypothalamus. (However, within the gland response differs). The hypothalamus helps to trigger release of hormones from the pituitary gland. Picture Credit: Image is generated by Life Science Databases(LSDB) and is used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.1 Japan license.
In a 2017 study, Situational and Dispositional Determinants of College Men's Perception of Women's Sexual Desire and Consent to Sex: A Factorial Vignette Analysis, 145 male college students were shown videos of different scenarios. They were asked to assess whether or not women in the videos were consenting to sexual behavior. An interesting pattern emerged. Men confused contextual factors with implied consent. For example, if a woman seemed to be aroused, men tended to see this arousal in itself as a green light, even without actual consent. Also, if men had previous relations with a woman, they were likely to interpret this prior experience as consent. And lack of responsiveness--if a woman does not assent or decline--men are likely to interpret as consent.
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In both men and women, the pituitary gland plays a crucial role in sexual arousal. This gland is central to many diverse functions throughout the body. One of these functions is the release of luteinizing hormone. In men, luteinizing hormone stimulates the testes. In women, it stimulates the ovaries. Its release from the pituitary gland is triggered by a series of events that rapidly cascade through the brain. Image credit: generated by Life Science Databases(LSDB) and used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.1 Japan license.
A UK polling organization called YouGov conducted a survey in several European countries that tried to gauge which behaviors were considered to be sexual harassment by men and women.
Picture license: Takashi Hososhima from Tokyo, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.1 generic Japan license.
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While the couple in the picture above appears to be engaged in legitimate activity, there are people who use cell phones more surreptitiously. The YouGov poll discovered that across the nine European countries surveyed, taking "a photo up a woman's skirt" is uniformly considered to be sexual harassment. 3
One in four people polled in France thought winking was sexual harassment. In Britain, lewd remarks got the thumbs down by approximately two thirds of the respondents. And, according to YouGov, Germans are more accepting of conduct that might be considered harassment in another country. A chart detailing reports of sexual harassment in the nine European countries may be found here. While the YouGov survey does not report on distinctions between male and female perceptions of sexual harassment, it does state that "the understanding of what constitutes sexual harassment differs widely, among both men and women."4
A 2007 report out of the University of Missouri-Columbia looked at a study that considered power as an element in workplace sexual harassment. According to this report, both men and women think that harassment is more about power than sex. The disparity between male perception and female perception resides in the definition of power. For men power is hierarchical: harassment can only be perpetrated by someone who has more authority in an organization. According to the men surveyed, unwelcome sexual overtures by peers is due to "misunderstanding". Women, on the other hand, according to this report, "often perceive all members of an organization as possible harassers."5 They may perceive unwanted sexual overtures by a co-worker as "a quest for power".
One 1995 study that looked at power and its relationship to sexual harassment came up with an interesting suggestion: the position of power itself is a kind of trigger. The authors state that "...having power within a situation automatically and unconsciously triggers a sexuality schema..."6
In 2017, the U. S. polling company Barna Group conducted a survey on attitudes about sexual harassment. The table below (constructed by me, using selected Barna data) reflects some results from that study. Compare these results with results from prior studies cited in this post. The comparison yields an unavoidable conclusion: men and women often have different ideas about what constitutes acceptable sexual behavior--in the workplace and away from the workplace.
Constructed by A. G. Moore
McGill University Study, 2018
From this perplexing catalogue of misunderstanding and miscommunication between men and women, questions arise. To answer some of these, we may perhaps turn to a February, 2018 study undertaken at McGill University in Montreal. 20 college-age men and 20 college age women had their brains scanned by an MRI as they were shown both erotic and non-erotic videos. Arousal rate was assessed by thermal devices placed near the genitals (I know, I know--who would?). Heat measurements were coordinated with the brain images. An interesting and surprising result came out of this experiment: overall, women in the group had a more robust response to the erotic videos--more areas of their brains were affected by arousal. Also, in those areas of the brain where both males and females showed response, the female response was often stronger. According to the authors of this study, "in no case were there brain regions in men with stronger brain-genital correlations than in women."7
The cingulate cortex is highlighted in red. This is one area in the study that showed marked activity in women during sexual arousal. The picture was released into the public domain by its author, Goeff B. Hall.
This study may be relevant to the sexual harassment debate because of the neurological differences between male and female responses. Areas of the brain that lit up strongly in women: anterior and posterior cingulate cortex, right cerebellum, insular cortex, and paracingulate gyrus. These are areas that have to do with self awareness (insular cortex), understanding social intention (paracingulate gyrus), emotional response (cingulate cortex), and coordination and modulation of cognition and execution (right cerebellum)
If further studies indicate that men truly do suffer response deficits (as compared to women) in areas of the brain that are important to awareness, social connectedness and emotion, would it not be surprising that they misread women's expectations? Maybe this suggested response gap between men and women was the reason Freud didn't understand what women wanted. He thought it was because women had envy. Maybe it was because women had something he lacked: a more comprehensive, nuanced neurological response to sexual stimuli.
***Of course, the McGill experiment is one small contribution to a conversation about sexual response. The brain is a frontier as mysterious to us as outer space. Nothing I've reported here is definitive--but it is interesting.
As for me, personally--it seems my reticence about personal experience may be coy. I won't share the breadth of that experience, but will share one relevant, humorous snapshot from my youth.
I'm female. I went to an out-of-district, all-female high school. Just about all the students had to take public transportation to get to school. At lunch time we would sometimes sit around the table and tell stories about our adventures on public transport with various flashers and mashers. My mode of transport was the bus. I refused to deal with the mashers, who could be casual in their approach and just slowly start moving into my space. Maybe a leg, maybe an arm, maybe a torso. It was the sort of ambiguity that didn't allow a challenge. So I carried a clarinet, every day, though I rarely practiced. The clarinet was my shield. If a man sat next to me, the clarinet case would be between us. Many an innocent man was poked by that case, but my rides to and from school were rendered peaceful because of it.
Picture Source, Clarinet: Pixabay; Picture Source, Notes: Pixabay
1 Freud Quotes:
From, Women Psychiatrists Still Battle Freud’s View of Sexes, in Psychiatric News:
"Women oppose change, receive passively, and add nothing of their own."
From, Young Doctor Freud, by PBS:
"...women were largely a dark continent
From, Freud's Perspective on Women, in Very Well Mind :
"What does a woman want?"
2This blog addresses a specific aspect of sexual harassment: the dynamic between men and women. There are universes of sexual harassment that exist outside of this dynamic. For example, 20% of the men surveyed by Barna Group reported experiencing sexual harassment--and some women experience sexual harassment from other women. My blog deals with only one corner of the sexual harassment picture.
3YouGov poll:What the World Thinks
4From, DW.com: What do Europeans Consider Sexual Harassment?
5From, Science Daily: Power and Sexual Harassment--Men and Women See Things Differently
6From, Journal of Social Issues: The Naive Misuse of Power: Nonconscious Sources of Sexual Harassment
7From, The Journal of Sexual Medicine: How Hot Are They? Neural Correlates of Genital Arousal: An Infrared Thermographic and Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging Study of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women
Kavanaugh’s Hearing Is a Test of How Much We Care About Sexual Assault
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/9/24/17876302/brett-kavanaugh-christine-ford-hearing-me-too
Sex-Based Discrimination
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sex.cfm
Young Doctor Freud
http://www.pbs.org/youngdrfreud/pages/perspectives_women.htm
Freud's Perspective on Women
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-sigmund-freud-viewed-women-2795859
Psychiatric News
https://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/pn.36.14.0009
The Senior Times
http://www.theseniortimes.com/the-word-nerd-deconstructing-sexual-harassment/
Brain Blogger
http://brainblogger.com/2014/05/20/brain-sex-in-men-and-women-from-arousal-to-orgasm/
A Meta-Analytic Review of Gender Differences in Perceptions of Sexual Harassment
https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/apl-865914.pdf
The Neuroscience of Sexual Desire
http://neurosciencefundamentals.unsw.wikispaces.net/Sex+and+the+Brain.+What+parts+are+involved%3F
The Journal of Interpersonal Violence
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29294968
Men Still Don't Know How Consent Works, New Study Suggests
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/8x5wjp/men-still-dont-know-how-consent-works-new-study-suggests
Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5123903/
Brain Blogger
http://brainblogger.com/2015/11/28/sex-is-it-all-in-the-brain/
YouGov
https://today.yougov.com/
DW.com: What Do Europeans Consider Sexual Harassment?"
https://www.dw.com/en/what-do-europeans-consider-sexual-harassment/a-41346892
Science Daily
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/04/070403184604.htm
Journal of Social Issues
https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1995.tb01310.x
The Journal of Sexual Medicine
https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(17)31880-5/fulltext
Neuroscientifically Challenged
https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/blog/2013/05/what-is-insula
Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8031981_Understanding_Intentions_in_Social_Interaction_The_Role_of_the_Anterior_Paracingulate_Cortex
Neuroscientifically Challenged
https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/glossary/cingulate-cortex/
Very Well Mind
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-sigmund-freud-viewed-women-2795859
Wow! This post was put together and referenced like a thesis! I like the perspective from the female side as well as the studies that qualify the findings.
Reading about the female experience, maybe the reactions were stronger as there may have been fear mixed in with the reactions? I have read males do not have the level of fear associated with the experience near as much.
Fascinating!
Thank you for that feedback. I try to write with a bit of humor, but dispassionately. Yes, evidence--a lot more time researching than writing. I think everyone is a bit confused about signals, so maybe this research will give us a few clues and some of us can get along better :) Thanks for stopping by--and for appreciating my work.
:) As usual you give me really something good to read! For now, I just was flipping through your article but will come back later to give it another read. I was really laughing at this sentence
Not because it itself is funny but it instantly (!) reminded me on a couple which likes to do their thing and then ... THIS happens:
Watch "the performance" - you will love it:)))
I absolutely loved this. Where did you ever find it? Just perfect!
Isn't it? I found it a couple of years ago when I was searching for a "birth giving" topic. I was quite mad for many years about how clinics treat women who want to deliver a baby. It seems that they get better these days.
Yeah--have to find a way to share this. Shall I put it on Twitter?
oh, absolutely! :-))
Done: https://twitter.com/A_G_Moore/status/1046871015618428928
👍
Wow, that was really a lot you provided us with. I'd like to appreciate it. I am aligned with you when it comes to not use studies as absolute certain results. Which I would not recommend as well.
When one is confronted with sexual harassment or misunderstandings in communication, both men and women "must" do their own reflections before any accusation takes place or involves others.
That is a real surprise for me. The one and only harassment which took place for me (as far as I know - lol) is about ten years ago and I quit my job after only two months. ... In the course of the recent years I somehow became unable to view things out of context. Working places already give a context so I probably would consider any perceived sexual related approach as uninvited if I myself would think that I did not send any signals which encouraged a male in doing so (but who knows as sometimes humans do things on a subconscious level they are not aware of). Though the way I would handle it would differ a lot depending indeed on the hierarchy.
I never would allow someone to take advantage of me ... in now thirty years of work life that was the one and only incident where I felt that hierarchy led to a bad experience, related to sex and powers. Not bad, I would say :))
It gets difficult for all of us when people start to identify strongly to their negative experiences and drag the public into these personal affairs. When a harrassment takes place and one cannot cope with it I would suggest different strategies to deal with it: hold it private (no media usage), get help through the many supporting institutions and rely on ones own ability to judge a situation correct. Also, be aware whom you pick as an advisor.
... For some reason, the YouGov Website gives me the creeps.
I like your personal story in the end a lot as it shows how simple protecting can be. You showed a really good example how you as a young girl decided for a physical border between you and the male world. Now, isn't that fantastic? Was it a conscious decision, do you remember? Or more of a thing you just did and not thought about?
Such a complex subject. I think it would be hard to reach an age of significant maturity, and not have a story. I'm sorry you left your job, but your ability to deal with such a challenge has apparently evolved, so that you don't lose, but the aggressor is held to account.
I wanted to handle the subject in a way that spoke to all genders without prejudice. Science is a great tool for doing that.
As for the clarinet--that was very deliberate. I used to fume when men were inappropriate. Sometimes my clarinet was not a passive barrier but more an active defense. I enjoyed that :))
Science is wonderful. Its intrinsic quality is to never stop searching:) I hope that you do not take it personal when I support this view of not relying too much on the sciences when it comes to human relations/psychology - because I perceive myself living in an environment where it does not need to be defended a lot but sometimes there must someone make him(her)self unpopular by reminding there is a realm outside of science. Good scientists are in my view also those who question themselves even though they might have put a lot of value to the realm of knowledge.
I feel sometimes sorry for myself (pity me:) to take on this not very welcomed disturbing role at times. But what can one do, it's in my blood stream to be a skeptic ... fortunately one can be enthusiastic, too.
Yes, all of us do carry their scars and bruises throughout life. So true.
Your clarinet an active defense! Laughter. Why do I have to think of Hermine Granger? :)))
I don't take it personally at all. I believe in intuition (thinking of your blog here). I never went into it in detail with your before, but I had one very clear intuitive experience. I was able to find something a person had hidden. I somehow received a clear message of where the item was located. There's no logical explanation for this. But it did happen.
There's so much we don't understand. As for being a skeptic--that defines my nature. Without questions, we have no possibility of discovery.
Had to look up Hermine Granger--not a Harry Potter reader.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments--always provocative, always interesting :)
That is indeed interesting. You must have felt like a detecting medium, wondering about the self. I heard once from Nassim Harramein (he is a physicist) that the space in between things holds a lot of interesting information. I imagine this "space" sometimes as something colorful --- imagine the space would not be matter-less but visible. What would we see, where would we see the hidden connections to where our thinking stretches itself beyond the mind?
You probably followed a string of color. LOL.
I will try if I can succeed in that, too the next time my son asks for his keys. I like those kinds of games. Maybe I should ask him to hide them on purpose and see how long it takes me to find them.
Thank you so much for this inspirational story of yours, very much appreciated!
👓 🔎
Good luck finding those keys :))
First it was established that men and women are inherently different (unfortunately, for us, it was in a superior - inferior dynamic, even Freud contributed to that!). Then, a rumor was spread that that is not the case. But, rather, it is society/environment that brings our differences about. In my opinion as much as this view needs to be taken into account, it can be a dangerous one as it tends to ignore biological perspectives. Things would be a lot easier if they were that black & white!
But, I am glad that we now live in an age where information like the one you shared here is more accessible. Information that offers a little glimpse into the intrinsic differences between men and women, which hopefully will narrow the gap between us. Of course, in order for that to be achieved each side has to do its part. In this scenario, for example, men's deficient brain responses should not be used as an excuse for inappropriate behaviour.
Still, this is the sort of knowledge that delivers the tools and the means for us (males and females) responsibly negotiate our differences and build more harmonious family, work and public environments (education is always the way forward). I think we are getting there, slowly. But, while we still journeying on that path we're have clarinet cases to keep peace reigning :)
I wish you a wonderful afternoon my dear.
All the best to you always and forever! :*
I have to confess that the tone of your blog influenced the tone of my blog. You are so balanced, and this subject could put up a lot of red flags that can shut down communication. So I was very careful to weigh information objectively. And to inject some humor, which always helps.
You're right--understanding the differences is not permission to exploit them, but rather an invitation to close the gap. Getting along is the goal.
As for the clarinet--when I read that passage again before posting, I thought of our exchange on your personality blog. Maybe the clarinet is the sort of solution a "feisty" introvert would come up with :))
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. Your positive spirit and insight have an effect. The very best to you.
I really like your humour by the way, I forgot to mention this on my previous comment!
This had me giggling (earlier) and now again 😃
❤️🌷❤️
:)))
It's one hell of an article. Kudos. This is one great piece of article. I can't fathom a few things and one of them is this:
What does "context makes a difference"? Can you give an example?
Thanks for the robust endorsement! Your question is excellent--I went back and read the passage from which this point was derived. It seems I drew the point as an amplification of the distinction between peer and authority harassment. This study was specifically designed to provide analysis of workplace harassment. The authors were looking for a clear definition that could guide cases going forward. The passage in question reads: "It suggests that a lot of weight is placed on the behavior itself as opposed to circumstances surrounding the event." I'm going to look at the way I worded that and the way I interpreted the passage to make sure I reflect more exactly the meaning of the authors. Adding more detail did not alter the disparity between male and female perception of whether or not harassment had taken place.
Appreciate that the point irked you. I'll go back and clarify.
Edit: So, just because of you 🙂, I added a sentence to my second point. Point #1 sets the foundation for point#2: Many men believe that similar behavior (touching, uninvited overtures, let's say) has different significance depending on who commits the act and where it occurs.
Nice to have that clarified before the 7-day editing closeout.
I see, thank you for the detail explanation. Now it makes much more sense.
I'm currently doing a post on sex drive, and though I didn't much study the aspect you're concerned with here specifically, everything I know agrees with what you wrote: there are significant sex differences in this as in many other areas relating to sex.
Thank you for reading and stopping by. Of course I thought about your posts on gender when I wrote this. It will be interesting to learn about your new insights. There is so much we don't know, but we should. Too much misunderstanding. A balanced, rational perspective can only help.
Well researched article @agmoore. I completely agree with some of the research outcomes mentioned in the article.
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Thank you, @bala41288. So much controversy in the media, so much finger-pointing. At some point people stop listening to each other. So I tried to be calm, reasonable and objective. I'm glad a few people read my piece and were interested in the information.
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments.
Fascinating article!
I, too, was very much intrigued by female reactions being stronger. Perhaps that's also why our defenses are so much stronger to begin with.
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. I think we know so little, we will be surprised more as this research continues. It's obvious there's a biological gap between men and women -- and yet, so many of us manage to get along just fine. There's hope :)
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Thank you, SteemSTEM. It's an honor to be acknowledged by the team. I try to use the tools of science to answer questions that occur to me. I'm glad you think I did that responsibly.
Upvoted.
Thank you!
You’re welcome