When Snot Goblins Go Insane - A Cautionary Tale

If you want to read the whole thing
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
I've written before about fake social media experts/influencers, because let's face it, while I personally love the internet, the way it allows you to educate yourself and make new friends. It's also a place where it can be difficult to sort the thieves from the sheriffs.

In my 'Snot Goblin' series I've written about a true series of events that I'm watching, but naturally as I've called it the 'Snot Goblin' series without revealing who is involved. Every time I think the series is finished, our snot goblin provides more material. He's still trying to win a war only he's fighting because all the others have moved on.

Let's go back to our fantasy land and see what's happening...

The techmage and his Fellowship of the coin have been working very hard, for the majority of the time they've ignored the snot goblin. Mostly because he's become a bit like a recurring boil, it pops up, you squeeze it, then it goes away for a while.

The snot goblin has become for them, an irritating but essentially irrelevant part of their world. It drives him crazy!

The techmage and the fellowship have been working so hard to ensure that all who believed the snot goblin and gave him silver, are not let down. Their dedication is beginning to pay off as things become clearer, and, people see that they, at least, are honest hardworking people.

But what of the snot goblin? In the last chapter, we saw that he'd gone back to Cara Libre and had moronii trolls and some carrion eaters still under his sway. The rulers of Cara Libre banned him for a while but, as we all know, snot goblins can and do slime their way back, often using fake identities or stealing other peoples loudspeakers.

Which is what our slimy little snot goblin did. By now, his aversion to the light of truth was getting stronger and he lived mostly in his own fantasy land inside his own head. It was after all the only place left where he could pretend. The only place he could still believe he was the strong, intelligent and charismatic leader he'd always pretended to be.

Sadly for him, it wasn't enough, so every now and then, he'd pop back up, an annoying boil full of puss which was absentmindedly squeezed by one of the fellowship and he'd disappear.

Then something changed, he decided that there was one person to blame for all his woes, not as you may suppose the techmage, no, the snot goblin decided that the Frost Giant from the frozen north was the cause of all his sorrows.

The Frost Giant was, it has to be said, a little embarrassed because for a while he'd been taken in by the snot goblin, when he'd discovered the truth of course, he'd worked very hard to help the techmage ensure that people who'd trusted the snot goblin didn't lose out.

The snot goblin knew that our hero the techmage, was really only interested in creating magic and making sure that no one lost their gold coins because the snot goblin had taken their silver with no intention of giving them good coins. He'd said that ALL coins were his, even those 'bought' by people with silver.

The Frost Giant however was a very different matter, we should perhaps of called him not the 'Frost' Giant but the 'Coin Giant' because in the world of magic coins he was influential, a lot of people listened to him. He was also (as Frost Giants are) a warrior, not the sort that starts wars, no this warrior was the sort who ended them.

Unfortunately the snot goblin was too stupid to understand this.

His plan was to continue to bluster and threaten, tell lies and half truths. He told everyone that he'd retired to his home cave but that the fellowship had stolen most of his belongings. Of course, while it may have been true that someone may have moved into his cave and taken stuff, it couldn't be the fellowship as they all lived too far away to be able to do it.

Then he said he was going to the FBI (Fake Bullshit Instigators) even though they weren't able to investigate in the land of his cave. He further threatened that the Frost Giant would pay. As usual the impotent snot goblin had nothing to offer as proof because all he had were his lies.

The Frost Giant laughed, his laughter rolling down the mountains like an avalanche called nemesis.

The snot goblin had further problems, others, those who didn't know the whole story began to question him. Began to ask uncomfortable questions that of course he couldn't answer.

They asked why, if what the snot goblin said was true, the techmage was still at large and working on his magic coin, they asked why the 'enforcers' (police) hadn't done anything. The snot goblin could only repeat his lies, twisting things to try and make himself look good. He failed and, one could almost but only almost feel sorry for him because he failed to see, to understand, that all those he decried as enemies weren't. His enemy, his only enemy was in fact himself.

The demon of hubris sat on one shoulder, the other held the spirit of egotism, together they created a cocktail of negativity that infected the snot goblin and those who followed him.