A Firm and True Love

As we mature, God teaches us to forgive continuously, even instantly. But it's a learning process, so do not feel guilty if you can not do it right now. Adopt yourself of the grace of God and let Him help you forgive. You probably need some time to receive all His grace and be able to do it. God only needs a small act of your will. The first step should be to let Him soften your heart. Our hearts tend to harden when we have lived in difficult relationships. Let me emphasize again that softening the heart does not mean accepting abuse or staying in a situation where you are being, or may be, abused. Forgiving is not the same as agreeing with the behavior of the offender. Therefore, seek counsel and talk with God. His promise is: "I will make you understand and I will show you the way in which you must walk" (Psalm 32: 8).

"I WILL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND AND TEACH YOU THE WAY YOU MUST WALK" (Psalm 32.8)
Jon Walker writes: How do you have to forgive when you are in a destructive and dysfunctional relationship? Should you stay with the person in case it does not change? Loving your enemy does not mean excusing his behavior. In a destructive relationship, we must strive to resist abuse with a wise and peaceful response. This consists of establishing healthy boundaries where you are less vulnerable to abuse and, in case God directs you, to break the relationship (it is easier said than done when the offender is the father or the mother, the spouse or a child). The act of forgiveness does not mean that you have to keep getting hurt or that you should stay in an abusive relationship. Jesus taught that forgiveness must be immediate, as He did when He forgave those who crucified Him: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

As we mature, God teaches us to forgive continuously, even instantly. But it's a learning process, so do not feel guilty if you can not do it right now. Adopt yourself of the grace of God and let Him help you forgive. You probably need some time to receive all His grace and be able to do it. God only needs a small act of your will. The first step should be to let Him soften your heart. Our hearts tend to harden when we have lived in difficult relationships. Let me emphasize again that softening the heart does not mean accepting abuse or staying in a situation where you are being, or may be, abused. Forgiving is not the same as agreeing with the behavior of the offender. Therefore, seek counsel and talk with God. His promise is: "I will make you understand and I will show you the way in which you must walk" (Psalm 32: 8).

"FORGIVE THEM BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DO" (Luke 23:34)
A writer says that the enemy is not the person with whom you have the problem, but Satan. The true battle is fought against the hosts of evil (see Ephesians 6:12). Satan wants you to think that you are fighting alone and that you act as if you were separated from God. But this is not the case because "the battle is the Lord's" (1 Samuel 17:47). Your situation also concerns Him. So, what do you have to do?

1. Pray for your offender.
   Those who continuously harm others act like this because they are tied to their own sin. Although that should not be an excuse, at least it gives you a small idea of ​​how to pray for them. God planned that human relationships would be beneficial, but these deteriorated because of the alcohol, anger and other forgeries that Satan uses to destroy relationships and the family. Pray that the offender will become the person God created.

2. Take a firm decision and stick to it.
   Maybe you need a support group or a mediator to intervene in case of a legal process. The light of God penetrates the densest darkness with hope, restoration and reconciliation and when you have that light, you can heal more easily. With everything and that, you will need to make firm decisions, and if necessary, ask for external help.

3. Ask God: Should I stay or should I leave?
   It would be naive to believe that any process of dialogue with a mediator, carried out in prayer, will radically change things. Some people react well to confrontation, others are touched by the love of God. But many others remain dangerous and abusive, even if they have been forgiven and treated with love and mercy. Maybe you have to end the relationship, as difficult as that may seem. Remember that it is not for you to change anyone and that you will not have failed if the person does not change even after being confronted with the love and truth of God.