Hello @son-of-satire, sorry to have read about your predicament. The Convert feature was removed back in December of 2017. here is a post where @adept talks about it https://steemit.com/steemit/@adept/convert-sbd-to-steem-option-removed-from-wallet People that were using the convert function were losing money. So it is my understanding it was removed to level the playing field with the higher level users, although I do not know this for sure.