Jabba the Hutt hopes Bannon Biopic will lead to standalone movie

In Hollywood today, Jabba the Hutt was cast to play Steve Bannon in the upcoming biopic. Mr. Hutt spoke through an interpreter, expressing hope that the role would lead to interest in his own standalone Star Wars movie. Cast for his remarkable resemblance to the political figure, Hutt is hoping to show his acting chops in this one: "Bannon is far more evil than I am, so I really have to get out and show that side of him", Hutt explained

"You know, they're going off in all directions. Rogue One, a Han Solo story, and who knows what else. I've just never felt my story was told; I've always been the heavy throughout the Star Wars series".

Mr. Hutt explained how he had fallen on hard times following Return of the Jedi: "They just didn't have roles in Hollywood for me, because I unfortunately was typecast in the Star Wars movies. Lucas did me a solid by adding me to the remastered version of "A New Hope" so I would have the film credit, but really there wasn't anything. Thin was in, and it just wasn't happening".

Those darker times led to a tragic turn of events. "I ate my agent", Hutt says, "and unfortunately, when that happens, not many will handle you. But when you combine the extreme stress of depression with hunger, and an unfortunate ban on the shipment of frogs that my diet generally requires, you have limited options".

When asked who would play him, Hutt expressed confidence that he could play himself in the role. "We're aging backwards these days", he explained. "738 is the new 550, so I believe I could do a good job playing a younger me".

Hutt also hopes that the chance at a standalone film will give him a chance to clear the record on a few things. "The victor always writes the history. Look at the evidence, folks: HAN shot first!"