Man’s Rectum Falls Out While Sitting on Toilet

in #satire7 years ago (edited)

Man’s Rectum Falls Out While Sitting on Toilet: Doctors in China say a man had been sitting on the toilet for half an hour playing mobile phone games when his rectum fell out of his body. Doctors caution that while they expect the man to make a full recovery, this is another example of how people can really end up losing their ass - if all they do is just sit around, playing video games all day.
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NASA Spacecraft Takes Photos From 4 Billion Miles Away: The NASA New Horizons spacecraft, which gave us close-ups of Pluto, has just set the record by taking a photograph of a star cluster while 3.79 billion miles from Earth - the farthest photograph ever taken. Lead Trump science advisor and televangelist Jim Bakker says he has his doubts the picture is authentic and claims the image looks more like the right-front headlight of a 1954 DeSoto to him.
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Neighbors Say Serial Killer Did Landscaping at Nearby Apartments: Neighbors in Canada say they had no idea that a serial killer, accused of killing at least six people and stuffing them into planter boxes - also did work on nearby properties. Republican National Committee chairwoman Ronna McDaniel called it refreshing to learn that there’s actually violent criminals out there who are not associated with the White House staff.
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