Don Jr. Tells Americans ‘Buy AR-15s to Defend Against Hamas Paraglider Attacks’

in #satire10 months ago (edited)

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In the wake of the terror attack in Israel by Hamas, Donald Trump Jr. has put out a new video advising Americans to purchase AR-15s and 30-round clips to protect themselves and their families "Because if people in motorized paragliders come into your home - that's what it's for.” Don Jr. further justified the AR-15s by claiming that “The government is too busy spying on your grandmother and conservatives to protect you,” adding that training to use assault weapons is also a terrific way “to bond with the family.”

Wow, move over Jewish Space Lasers, COVID vaccines, and cancer-causing windmills. Seems there’s a new kid on the block - motorized paragliders! Sounds like someone’s getting a wee bit paranoid. A little too much “Columbian Nose Candy, perhaps?” MAGAs are like, “Hell, I think I saw one flying through my linen closet.” So terrific! Next thing you know, we’ll have half-witted, fentanyl-strung-out MAGAs firing assault weapons at anything they see up in the air, including skydivers, hang gliders, and large birds of prey.

I mean, seriously? HAMAS terrorists paragliding clear across the Atlantic just to attack your house in the Boise suburbs? Does Don Jr. think we're living inside a “Mission Impossible” movie? Sorry, pal - should one of these paragliders try and fly into my living room, I think I’d contact Tom Cruise long before any of your MAGA nitwits. Besides Donny Boy, my house is equipped with something that would almost certainly prevent a motorized paraglider from flying into my bedroom. Its called a roof.

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