BILLION DOLLAR MAN IN BIG TECH TOWN FOLLOWS DREAM COME TRUEsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #satire6 years ago (edited)


A man sits in a dark room. A drop drips. The man taps a cigar against the side of his chair. The clock ticks. A drop drips.
“What have you for me, love?” The man rhythms. He taps a cigar against the side of his chair.

A light shines on to a taller man at the front of the room. “Sir, I have an entity which would make a fine vehicle for your investment.” A drop drips.

“Boy, I am not here to waste time.” A clock ticks.

“Of course.” Says the taller man. “I have for you an invention. A promise. Something brighter than bright and taller than tall. It is an infinite. An unseeing void. It will make the real fall benign and the ethereal deign free in this realm.” A drop drips. The man in the chair puts his cigar to his mouth and takes a warm puff.

“Color me intrigued. What is this tumultuous infinite you manifest in the minds of a million men? What is this unending promise, this realmless invention beyond the needs and deeds of a proper civilization?” The man in the chair taps his cigar against the side of his chair. A clock ticks.

“Sir, this is not just an invention. It’s an unseeing void. Imagine, sir, being able to live forever. Just imagine it! You live. And live. And live, and live. And you just don’t die.”

“Yes, this suits my interests.” Says the sitting man. “But what of everyone else? Do they live forever too?”

“Only if you wish, sir!” Says the taller man. A drop drips.

“And what of my riches?” says the sitting man.

“You will keep them, and they will grow on growth, and you will be richer and richer forever and ever.” A clock ticks.

“When I was young, we called this snake oil. There’s never an easy buck to be made in modernity. What have you that promises such deluxury?” The sitting man takes a steamy puff from his cigar.

“Why sir I have already told you. It is an infinite. An unseeing void. In truth, you can have anything you want. Simply state it and it will be. You have all the money in the world. I have all the talent. Your wish is my command, but you will only have one wish and then the money is mine.” The taller man says.

“Boy,” A drop drips. “you interested me with living forever. But the growth of infinite riches invites my discernment. I have doubts about your rambunctious claims, but if you are serious then I would like to state my demands.” A clock ticks.

“Let us make a deal. You will get to live your wish for one day. If you are satisfied, you will provide the greater part of your riches to me.”

“Alright. I am willing to take that risk, but if I am not perfectly satisfied, I will certainly be providing you no recompense. Here is my wish: I wish to live forever, on a space dome in mars, where a robot perpetually performs fellatio on my genitalia. I live in perfect safety, the poor live a hellish domain on Earth. Make it so.” A clock ticks.

The man at the front claps. The sitting man is transported. He is sitting in a dome. A pale blue dot off in the distance is barely visible. There is a female-appearing robot that begins to perform oral sex on the man. The sitting man noticed a remote beside him and picks it up. He points it to a television in front of him and turns it on. It is a live video feed of poor people on Earth, running around, screaming, dying, begging for mercy amongst the fiery maelstrom.

“Yes. YES!” Said the sitting man. “This is everything I have dreamed of. For years and years, this is the only future, the only reality I could imagine. Now it is here and I am HAPPY. YES!!!” The man shakes violently.

The taller man snaps his fingers. Everything fades back to the dark room. “Sir, I think your mind is made up. You, a tech billionaire, could certainly afford your wish, if you truly want it. But I don’t know if you do.”

“I do! I do! I’ll do anything for it. Boy, this is all I have dreamed of, for years upon years. Decades upon decades, beckoning for this reality to come true. I do want it!” Said the sitting man.

“Mmm. I don’t know if I believe you. It will take a pretty penny to ride on this submarine.” A clock ticks.

“One Billion dollars.” Says the sitting man.

“Five Billion.” says the taller man.

“Four point five billion.” Says the sitting man.

“Are you playing games with me? One hundred billion.” A drop drips.

“I can’t do it.” Says the sitting man.

“Can’t, or don’t want to?”

“I — I do want to. I’ll give you One Hundred Billion Dollars.” The sitting man signs a check.

The taller man snaps his fingers. The sitting man is whisked away to Mars. The same scene plays out.

“It’s…beautiful. So, so beautiful!” Says the sitting man. Tears begin to well up in his eyes. He turns on the television. The same footage of screaming poor people and chaos plays. A sharp pain of suspicion arises. ‘How can the footage be the same?’

He changes the channel. It is live footage of Tech Town, the land where the billionaire harkens from. Millions of people are flooding the streets, celebrating the billionaire’s removal from Earth. All of the money he paid for his wish is being handed out freely amongst those celebrating.

“No. No. NO! NOOO!!!!!” Screams the billionaire. “NO. NONONONONONONO. NO. NO!” Millions of poor people in Tech Town turn on their television screens. They begin to watch live footage of the billionaire screaming in his dick-sucking space dome.

“Wow.” One of the poor earth-men said. “This is some great television! I never thought we’d see something this good on air ever again.”

Another replies: “You might not! Enjoy this while it lasts!”

And so the whole working poor of Tech Town huddled around their televisions that night, heating their microwaveable popcorn, and listening to the wondrous screams of the sitting man. The stars shined a little brighter, and the people were lighter, as their spirits uncrumpled from the heaviest of weight being lifted off their Earth.

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