First they banned my nuclear missile... then they came for my tanks... eventually they were in my kitchen... [Dark Satire]

Satire, and serious. Is it comedy? Is it truth? Let's see how cool this ban hammer might actually be. This was inspired by the ludicrous sarcastic, satire, and back and forth comments between myself and @skeptic in this post.

Welcome to the world of accelerated time and following things to a POSSIBLE conclusion...

It began when they banned my nuclear missiles, and nuclear program. I could do mass damage with that.
They then banned the right to produce biological and chemical weapons. That was the day they removed bleach and amonia from the shopping store shelves.

Then they came for the guns. Videos had been produced showing the guns leaping out of their racks and indiscriminately shooting people while no one was holding them.

Some people proposed calling them possessed and having an exorcism. That was viewed as favoring one religious belief so was shot down. Without religion it was easier to prove once and for all that GUNS DO KILL PEOPLE and it isn't PEOPLE THAT ARE DOING IT. Those NRA and Gun Advocates were wrong about it and this not-possessed (politically correct) gun acted solely on its own.

One day and then another trucks were slammed into crowds. It could not be blamed on the driver for then we might be Islamophobes, it can't be blamed on them being white, black, brown, or any other color for then we would be racist.

It was the trucks... we should ban them...

A half a year later some ingenious piloting of a container ship managed to kind of power slide and drop cargo containers onto a neighborhood, a pier, and more. It did more damage than the trucks.

We must ban big boats...

Life is getting hard and import/export business is mostly dead except for that which can be carried by train.

Then train disasters began to occur as some unknown event began to result in rails being moved such that they caused derailing. We could not blame it on any specific actors as then we would be profiling and attacking a group. This is not politically correct... so we banned trains.

Good ol' horse and carriage days return...

Until the day we see a breed of horses return from out of nowhere... Warhorses. They trample, kick, bite, and kill... all videos showing this we intentionally blur out the rider as we don't want to profile and it is clear that it was the horses that were the problem... not the riders.

No more horses... just to be safe we stabbed them with kitchen knives (no guns, chemicals, etc) and then cremated them... we did not want people to eat them as that was wrong for animals... we also did not want to encourage eating of horse flesh. Thus, there were no horses... and it was not a problem.

Camels and Elephants would soon follow...

Then we realized the evil we had committed... the knives like the guns of old were possessed. All videos of the knife attacks show a blurred image holding a knife that attacks people all on its own.

Knives were banned...

Then the buildings began to fall... convenient chipping at the foundations and ropes are found... but no one could be blamed for fear of politically incorrect profiling. Buildings fell at perfectly timed moments to crash down on crowds.

Banning of buildings more than 1 story high began...

Then the rocks themselves started to kill people, and wooden branches... people found dead with their skulls caved in... we must ban these things as well..

TIME PASSES...

Eventually everything but our imaginations were banned... Free speech had long been banned so we could not harm people with our imaginations by sharing them. No more telling people they would burn in hell, no more telling children the monster under the bed was going to get them, and no more religious and holiday favoritism, so no more Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc.

Just our imaginations... to insure this we would remove tongues at birth...

Sign language was a problem... and people's fists and feet would attack people on their own... removing arms and legs seemed like a way to combat this. Yet this led to the first SILENT COUNCIL. Written word was the method of communication using figures drawn with fingers in the dirt.

What about abortion... if we abort before birth then we insure only imagination remains... there is no physical thing that can become not-possessed and attack people. The banning will finally be at an end. For it obviously was not PEOPLE doing all of these things...

This is what the aliens in space observed before the human race went extinct by aborting all future births...

Steem On!