Be warned, the USD is a premined shitcoin!

in #satire7 years ago (edited)

Yesterday I went to some kind of government official and asked him a few questions about their coins. This is the transcript of the discussion:

I'm looking to diversify into a few altcoins, and this one looks popular. What's the miner reward schedule on USDCoin?

Well, it's not a set formula really, we just print them when we need to. Usually some sort of banking crisis.

Oh whoa, so no fixed supply? What percentage of nodes have to agree on how much is printed?

Well, there aren't really nodes per se, it's sort a handful of guys that we trust won't abuse the system. They're pretty smart about this whole economics thing. I mean, we haven't worked out predicting the crashes, but we're getting faster about turning on the printing press.

How much was premined for the developers?

Well, like I said, there's no developers, they're more like, uh... forecasters? We give them what we print and they make sure it's distributed for a small percentage cut. On the bright side, never having software improvements means we can't introduce bugs!

Wealth distribution?

The top 10% hold 76% of the coins.

Do you realize even Dogecoin is superior to this in every way? Why would anyone use this?

We drone you or put you in a cage if you don't.

I'll take a thousand.

Excellent. You can submit your bitcoins to this address.

​So, that's for sure a coin to invest in. It's best argument is for me personally, that I won't get murdered or thrown into a cage if I don't use it.


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I enjoyed this a lot! It's true it is an abused premined shitcoin. Its inflationary aspect benefits only certain people at the expense of everyone else. I found the comments from Janet Yellen recently that we won't have another banking crises in our lifetimes to be so ignorant. And yet the "wizards"seem to think they are so smart that they have something solved a cyclical problem that has plagued almost every generation.

Thanks for the post. The more I learn about Cryptocoins, the less I even think to convert their value to USD. I think it is a great sign of the little value that they really hold.

This is awesome and everyone should be up-voting the shit out of it!

Very entertaining! Sometimes sarcasm is the best teacher. Although i'm plenty familiar w/how these things work! I did re-steem in hopes someone might learn something they didn't already. Good post!!

Decentralised permissionless ledgers are simply superior. They will continue to suck up wealth up to the point of maximum pain.

lol premined shit coin.. totally :P

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