Tesla Approves Musk’s $56 Billion Pay Package
Tesla's shareholders have re-approved a $56 billion pay package for Elon Musk, despite the fact that the company has lost a full 20% of its stock price, along with facing diminishing sales, rusting Cybertrucks, and massive recalls over exploding batteries. Not to be deterred, Tesla shareholders went ahead anyway and approved a $56 billion package, ignoring a Delaware court ruling from earlier this year that found Tesla’s board didn’t act “In the best interests of Tesla shareholders” when it awarded Muck’s compensation package.
Geez, you mean to tell me that social media troll Elon Musk just snagged a $56 billion paycheck? Wow, that’s a pretty huge package. Now, in his defense, many of his ex-lovers claim Musk’s “package” isn’t really all that big when you actually see it in person. I guess “huge” is all in the eye of the beholder. Now, not to be critical of Tesla’s board, but is anyone really worth a $56 billion paycheck?” I mean, I’ve heard that “its hard to find good help these days,” but surely there must be someone, somewhere who is qualified to run Tesla for less than one billion dollars a week, or 380,000 times what the average Tesla employee makes - but who’s counting? I bet all those workers Musk recently laid off are so happy for him!
And let us not forget how Musk’s Tesla Cybertruck is a real stroke of genius. Now, is it just me, or does anyone else not quite get why someone would actually want to ride around in something that looks like an old, discarded Army rations tin can? I suppose it must be kind of an acquired taste. That said, Musk’s Cybertruck is said to have terrific acceleration. In fact, rumor has it that it can accelerate sooooo fast - it can actually transport you back to the “good old days” when his native South Africa was still under an Apartheid regime. By the way, how’s that Full Self-Driving (FSD) thingy coming along, Elon? We’re all still hoping it’ll be ready to go by 2016, just like you promised! Oh, wait…!
But never mind, Tesla stockholders say, “Let’s give him $56 billion.” Who cares if this compensation package is more money than Tesla's total profits over its entire existence? Now, call me crazy, but it occurs to me if you’re a Tesla stockholder cheering on the approval of a massive compensation package that will surely put your own investment in serious jeopardy, there’s a pretty decent chance you just might be - in a cult! It’s kinda like boarding a sinking ship, even when its obvious the captain has been actively punching holes in the hull. After all, Americans do love their billionaires. I mean, who wouldn’t be overjoyed about one of the world’s richest people getting even more money given to him?